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Welcome To America: Fox Decided To Air Bassmaster Elite Fishing Instead Of Some Silly Little European Soccer Match

So apparently the "Euros" are going on right now. Out of every sporting event to ever occur, it is arguably the least American possible. For starters, it's soccer. If football were steak and potatoes, soccer would be the equivalent of a lemon meringue. Enjoyable as a treat from time to time, but you'd be incredibly soft if it's all you ever consumed. Secondly, they don't even allow USA to compete in the tournament. Is it because Europe is butt hurt over the fact that we have a thing called the World Series which only 29 baseball teams from America and 1 team from Canada compete for? Maybe. But it's still cowardly to keep the Americans out considering how many times we saved Europe in the past. 

Anyhoo, Fox got stuck with the broadcasting rights for the UEFA Euro 2024. Maybe some Europeans are currently visiting America on "holiday" or whatever the heck they call vacation and they'll be flipping through the channels at 4am to watch soccer. Who gives a rats ass? Not America, that's for sure. 

Ain't nothing more American in the summer than sitting on the lake, getting shit housed drunk, tossing in a chaw, and goin' to catch you some fish. So when Fox has the option between airing Bassmaster Fishing Elite Series on FS1 or some little pussy European soccer match, they are going to go with Bassmaster Fishing Elite Series every day of the week. But apparently that rubbed some people the wrong way. 

If you're someone who got upset that FS1 didn't have the Hungary vs Switzerland game airing, then you order salad for dinner. You look at your nails with your palm facing outwards. Your favorite Ninja Turtle was probably Donatello, you nerd. 

Welcome to America, bitches. Don't like it? Then leave. Here in America we only reserve FS1 and FS2 for real sports like Bassmaster fishing, pickleball and Nick Wright stringing together the worst takes imaginable. If you want to watch European soccer so bad then go find some illegal stream that'll fill your computer with more viruses than a Kesha concert.