An Honest Scouting Report Of The Barstool Chicago Hoopers
With all the coverage the Barstool NYC team vs. the Kirk Minihane team basketball game got, some people had naturally turned their attention to Barstool NYC's next opponent, which logically, has to be Barstool Chicago. Their Head Coach, Chris Klemmer wrote a great blog about it today challenging the Barstool Chicago office to a game.
The NYC folks have also been beating their chests saying they are the top office in the game as far as on the court.
We discussed it on Yak and I think it is a #HealthyDebate
Klemmer also outlined some terms that could muddy the waters here. He wanted only one non-content person could play for each team. For Chicago, that would eliminate a lot of depth, as guys like Jack McCarthy, White Boy Rick, Memes, Connor Griffin, Henkel, Ebo, and Luke Blutman would all be fighting for one spot. Those are all very solid players, so I'm not sure if that would be agreeable.
But playing Devil's advocate, this rule would also eliminate guys like Mikey Pavs, who played collegiate basketball, Jenks, who played in high school, and Tyler Miller, who rumor has it can really hoop from the equation from the NYC team. I don't know enough about those guys games, so can't say who that suggestion would favor or not.
So I'm not going to preview a matchup with New York because I'm not sure what their full lineup would look like. This matchup would likely wait until Rico Bosco, who was a contributor on their NYC team gets back to full health and I'm not sure what other additions Coach Klemmer would be looking to make, but here are my thoughts on the potential Chicago roster:
Titus - best hooper at Barstool that isn't in the NBA and it's not close. He's got deeper range than anyone and likes to pull from way downtown. He can also get by anyone at ease and decelerates like Luka. He's practiced so much more basketball than anyone his finishing around the rim seems second nature. But he's not super selfish and looks to get others involved. I'd be interested to see how he'd play in a high stakes reputation game for the Chicago office if he indeed chose to play.
Nicky Smokes - he gets a lot of guff because of his personality, but this kid is an athlete. He was a football player in high school and it shows. He's strong and not flustered by bigger bodies around the rim. He's got confidence in his outside shot but is only an average shooter (he will hate that I wrote that). But the guy just does everything well. His best traits are big man tings. He is good finishing around the rim and he is a very good rebounder. His defense is very good and his mid-range game is terrific too. He's probably the best non-Titus hooper in Chicago, but the gap isn't super wide.
Tate - I haven't seen him play enough to give a full scouting report. But he is smooth with the ball. He told me he owned his school's assist record as a Point Guard and I believe it. He plays under control and is always looking to set his teammates up in the best possible position. He can shoot from deep but often doesn't look to the rim with his first look. Very unselfish, but good player.
Big Cat - Solid all around big without many holes. His game is comparable to Brook Lopez. A big with deep range from 3. Will pull without hesitation if in the flow of the offense. Probably best suited as a Power Forward, but very strong as a post defender and can move laterally well for his size on defense.
Hank - A crafty lefty that likes to get to his left hand. He's got very deep range and looks to pull often. He can bring the ball up and get the team set up in their offense. If you sag off of him, you will regret it. He does shoot with a lot of arch and that has led to a couple balls hitting the lights.
Cheah - My best attribute is probably talking on defense, which sounds pretty lame as I type it, but at least I get my team aligned on the same page on one end of the court. I think most of our guys that play on Fridays can agree on that. On offense, I can post up and have a couple tricks in my bag.
I'm a solid shooter from outside and can pile up points if not guarded closely. Rebounding is decent. If I'm being honest, my passing can be erratic and am somewhat turnover prone. I can take people off the bounce, though that's certainly not a strength of my game. On defense, I can guard multiple positions but can struggle against much heavier guys likely due to rarely ever working out legs.
Chief - A bigger, slower yet stronger Manu Ginobili. His head fakes are incredible. He can shoot the 3, but he wants to up fake you and drive to the cup where his strength and length allows him to finish. But if you don't close out on him quick enough, he's more than happy pulling up from 3 and he's a good shot.
Big T - A massive force in the middle he has a nearly unstoppable jump hook. Does he pull your arm down so you can't block it sometimes? Definitely. Will that ever be called in pickup? Certainly not. He is a solid shooter from distance and will look to pull. Once I tried a quick fake to the hoop and backed out to my jump hook, which gets almost everyone here. He blocked it and said, "don't ever try that on me again." Good post defender.
Mook - I haven't played with him enough for a full report, but he's a better athlete than you'd think. Has a decent outside shot but doesn't look to create off the dribble. Can knock down an open 3 and defend his position.
Max - Speaking of a massive force, have you seen Max? A lot of times, he'll get the ball 15 feet away, just put his head down and bowl forward. You cannot stop it. Is he looking at the hoop when he shoots from a few feet away? Sometimes. But he is a demon on the glass and is a good defender too.
Donnie - He is feisty and will get rebounds he shouldn't. He will also pull some deep 3 or contested mid-range shots he shouldn't. But sometimes they go in! Donnie is a hustle guy that always is seems to make a winning play.
Brandon Walker - *I haven't seen him play in a pick-up game, but he definitely used to be good at basketball. A big body with a good stroke and crafty post moves. If he does play, he'd be on a strict minutes restriction due to cardiovascular health. I'd be looking at 1-2 minutes per half.
Jersey Jerry - *I haven't seen him play in a pick-up game either, but he does have a solid shot as evidence by breaking Caitlin Clark's 3-point record. I'm not sure he'd be a plus defender, but he'd bring the vibes up and is a team guy. I'm also sure he'd find some edge that would help us win the game.
Jack McCarthy - A quick, attacking Point Guard who can get to the cup and finish in traffic. He is bouncy on the court and has a nice mid-range shot. However, he doesn't have much range and rarely looks to pop from deep. He also gets a lot of steals and is a good passer.
White Boy Rick - I saw him dunk once. He is huge. If on the team, would probably guard Dana or Pat and do pretty well. Has a solid mid-range shot. He is looking to expand his range, but rarely pulls from deep.
Memes - Often shoots 1,000 shots from deep with the Shoot-Away and is typically at or above 50%. He is crafty and always under control. He likes to get to the rim and finish from inside 6 feet. Crafty ball handler.
Connor Griffin - Very good basketball intelligence. Slippery handle. He'd admit finishing around the rim can be improved, but when I watch him, likely more rust that inability. He might be the best passer in the office. Solid defender, though would like to see him rebound better at his height.
Ebo - He didnt' like when I compared him to TJ McConnell but he's exactly that on the court. Can get to the rim almost at will. Does struggle to finish around length, but is getting better. Similar to Jack, he doesn't look to pop from outside. But always looking to push on offense.
Henkel - Gambling social guy, but always a positive contributor on the court. Solid defender, but best attribute is deep shooting.
Doug - Natural outside stroke. Can get to the rack and finish in mid-range, but very good 3-point shooter.
Luke Blutman - Another very high basketball intelligence guy. He's got a good shot with solid range, but doesn't look to pull a ton from deep. Likes to snake his way inside and dish to others for easier buckets. A good guy to have on your team.
Zuppe - streaky 3-point shooter that will often get left open due to people having no clue if he's lefty or righty after he shoots. But is surprisingly effective and can get red hot at any time.
Can rosters be agreed upon? Will this game actually happen? I do kind of like that all Barstool arguments have become games of basketball. I won't give a prediction because I don't know what the rosters will look like, but I will say I think Chicago has a ton of depth is everyone is allowed to play.
Check out the full Yak below and be sure to get your 4th of July gear in time for the holiday: