Kim Jong Un Is Using North Korea's Military To Send Balloons Filled With Poop Over To South Korea

South Korea has accused the North Korean regime of sending balloons containing garbage and animal feces into its territory.

Over 260 inflated balloons with plastic bags tied to them had been detected by Wednesday, according to the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

And just like that, I'm officially a North Korea guy. I know the American media likes to portray Kim Jong-Un as the bad man, but any world leader that gives the go-ahead to send POOP BALLOONS to their arch-nemesis gets a pass from me. Please spare me with the notion that he was testing out the weather patterns to do this with dangerous chemicals one day. No, that fat ass is chuckling himself to sleep over in North Korea tonight, having gotten exactly what he wanted. Plus, this is what Modern Warfare should be about. People are afraid that that the next big war will be the one to end it all, but instead of shooting rockets and missiles at each other, can we just launch poop of various consistencies at eachther? I mean, the live reaction from South Korea's President, Yoon Suk Yeol, was worth it in itself:

Okay, I'll come clean. That isn't the South Korean President. That is a clip from Billy Madison, but I'd have to think this is where Kim Jong-Un got the idea? He won't let his people watch movies, but you know that motherfucker is over there watching all the Adam Sandler movies. And while he was hoping to sneak over to their White House, light a bag of poop on fire on his rival's doorstep, and film the entire thing….he settled for simply letting the wind take the bags of poop over the border for him.

Look if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: I'm out on politics. I no longer look to our world leaders as a source of information and strength, rather I look to them for entertainment value only. I literally cannot wait until the Presidential Debates this summer, and in the mean time, I'll feast on stories like the leader of North Korea, who people say would start World War 3 in a heartbeat if he was able to, sending balloons filled with poop next door. Which, may I appease all the people that point out the atrocities from this story, is PROVEN to be less dangerous than military action. Source: Peter Ward

Peter Ward, a research fellow at the Sejong Institute, said that sending the balloons is a less dangerous means of provocation than direct military action.

I might need to pick up a side job at the Sejong Institute, if that's what we're paying guys for. But as it goes on, the thought is that North Korea is simply trying to provoke South Korea, although an official within the SK Presidential Office has vowed that they will respond calmly. Which brings me to my question of the day: how do you respond to poop balloons? Because if this shit storm hit the United States, I'd be the first one calling for the nuclear codes to be released back. Press the damn button. This is more insulting than war. But it appears South Korea is going to be the bigger pussy man here and avoid any larger issues.

The more I read, the more I'm in on this story:

Pyongyang has reacted angrily to those balloons, which contain materials like anti-regime leaflets, mini radios, food, and USB sticks of K-pop music videos and television shows.

So South Korea is trying to send people in North Korea things that their government doesn't want them to have? Look I'll be the first to say that it would suck to be in North Korea, but I'll also be the first to say that the proper response to SK sending our people contraband is to respond with heaping piles of poop in balloons, making the air raid sirens go off until you realize it's just dog shit.