Man Arrested After Finger-Banging The Bejesus Out Of A Little Minx of a Pink Tesla For The Better Part of an Afternoon

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The incident took place on May 18 at the Hyundai Department Store in Ilsan. According to the victim’s husband, his wife witnessed the man kissing and touching her car for three hours before fleeing when she approached to get into the vehicle.

Following the bizarre incident, the couple attempted to report it to the police, but they found that, unfortunately, there was no specific charge that could apply to this weird situation. Feeling hopeless, the husband decided to share the story on a NAVER cafe site on May 18. The site is considered Korea’s largest TESLA community.

This disturbing incident follows a similar one that occurred just weeks earlier, in late March. In that case, a different man was observed engaging in sexual activity with a white AUDI car. Recorded footage exposed the man on top of the car’s hood, rubbing himself against it before doing the same to the car’s front fender.

I think this is a classic "both sides" situation. Sure. You can go out there and say that, "no one should ever try to sexually interact with a car while in public" but that's coming from a place of privilege. You don't know what it's like to walk up to a pink Tesla and begin to notice that your jeans are beginning to swell with anticipation. You don't know what it's like to have your mouth go dry while your bussy gets wet in your Levi 511s once you hear that electric charger engage. You don't know what it's like to be aroused at the fact that fossil fuels are being saved. You simply don't. If you did, this wouldn't need to be a blog. 

Imagine a scene that starts with a young prince who loves all things automotive. 

In the quiet hum of his sleek, modern garage, the man stood, bathed in the soft, ethereal glow of LED lights. Before him was a pristine, pink Tesla, its curves and lines a testament to the marvels of contemporary engineering. His heart raced, not with the steady beat of ordinary excitement but with a wild, intoxicating fervor. 

He approached the car, his fingers trembling slightly as they grazed the cool, smooth surface. The Tesla seemed to purr in response, its doors gently opening with a soft, inviting hiss. He stepped inside, the leather seats enveloping him in a luxurious embrace. The scent of new car leather mixed with the faint aroma of high-tech machinery, creating an irresistible perfume kinda like a sexier version of axe body spray.

At the touch of his nimble fingers, the central touchscreen came to life. He marveled at its responsiveness, the way his slightest touch elicited an immediate, precise reaction. It was as if the car understood him, and anticipated his desires before he even articulated them.

His fingers danced over the screen, exploring the myriad of settings and options. Each new discovery sent a shiver of delight through him. The screen's size and clarity were almost overwhelming, a portal into a world of endless possibilities. He could control the climate, the sound system, the navigation—all with a few swipes and taps. 

His gaze wandered to the secondary screens, each one a masterpiece of technological artistry. The rearview display, the dashboard readouts, even the ambient lighting controls—each screen was a testament to human ingenuity, and he was utterly captivated. He could feel his pulse quicken, his breath coming in shallow gasps as he reveled in the car's technological prowess.

He closed his eyes, letting the rhythmic hum of the electric motor wash over him. In that moment, he was lost, consumed by an all-encompassing passion for the fusion of man and machine. It was a love affair like no other, a wild, unbridled romance with the Tesla that transcended the physical and ventured into the realm of the sublime.

Talkin orgasm. 

In summary, this guy should have to pay for a car wash but that's about it.