A Vegas Restaurant Hosted a 'Bluey' Event for Kids That Turned Into 'Willy Wonka Experience' 2.0

Michael Loccisano. Getty Images.

One thing you can't prepare yourself for when you start a family, doesn't appear in any of the parenting books, and which no one ever warns you about, his how having kids leaves you vulnerable to getting ripped off. 

Everything that is designed to appeal children and give you a few blessed hours of respite from having to entertain them yourself, is expensive. Insanely so. Many thousands of years ago, armies learned that children are a weakness. And if you want to get a populace to comply with being conquered, target their young. And today, capitalism works the same way. Every time someone creates an IP that connects with children, someone else figures out a way to use that brand loyalty to shove a vacuum hose into your wallet and hit the ON switch. 

Case in point, the unlicensed, copyright-defying Willy Wonka-ish event in Glasgow that Chaps wrote about:

That one promised an immersive, magical journey through a wondrous fantasy world of sweet treat manufacturing on an industrial scale. And delivered a warehouse with some props and posters taped the wall:

Now, as anyone with young kids will confirm, the hot property that is separating parents from their money is Bluey. So a Las Vegas restaurant saw the opportunity to cash in with a Bluey-themed event that made the Chocolate Factory look like the Magic Kingdom and Fyre Fest like a week at Sandals Jamaica by comparison:

Source - A restaurant in Las Vegas has issued an apology after a Bluey-themed event went all wrong - ruining the day of parents and children alike.

Popular restaurant chain Dirt Dog put on a free event on May 11 that advertised games, treats, face painting, and the chance to meet Bluey, the extremely popular Australian children's cartoon dog.

However, the operation began heading South when some 3,000 people responded to the restaurant's Facebook event and staff were left entirely overwhelmed when hundreds of parents and children lined up down the block to meet Bluey.

Much to the disappointment of those guests, when they made it to the front of they line, they were greeted by 'a guy in a onesie,' as described by one off-put customer.

Note, that would be this guy:

Who, benefit of the doubt, might have had no idea what he was getting into, like those poor saps who signed on to work the Glasgow event. And he probably passed a CORI check. It continues:

Furthermore, the face painting was done poorly by the untrained staff of the dining establishment, and the treats for the kids were gone before everyone made it inside.

Some parents also complained about the cleanliness of the restaurant and the guy inside the Bluey costume's apparent disinterest in the kids.

Outraged customers flooded the restaurant's Facebook page with negative reviews of the event.

'I get it needed to be quick designs, but whiskers and a paw print? The promised "treats" were cupcakes you needed to pay for. We saw no games and no activities,' wrote one parent.

'Temu Bluey costume and decorations from Dollar Tree featured at Dirt Dog Las Vegas Rainbow! Thanks for ruining my 3-year-old's day!' wrote another scorned mother.

Getting back to the sad bearded guy in the halfassed onesie that would've shamed even the most opioid-addicted costumed pest in Times Square, having him interacting with the kids probably only would've made everybody's day immeasurably worse. Sometimes you've just got to know when a situation is so FUBAR, the smart move is to just take the L.

So let this and the Glasgow incident be a lesson to all of you new and expecting parents. It's a jungle out there. With you and your kids at the bottom of the food chain. I got ripped off at events promising Spongebob, dinosaurs, and a hot air balloon festival that promised skies filled with the things. But produced just one, which traveled for all of about 100 yards. While they left us all standing in a field to figure out on our own that was all we were getting. (Before inviting us all to go visit the same shitty carnival midway that always seem to magically pop up at these things so you can put your childrens' lives in the hands of hillbilly reprobates with a dozen Fugitive from Justice warrants.) At least, those are the ones I can remember. There are probably others I saved to my Repressed Memories file. 

Now it's your turn. Take it from an experienced pro. Trust no one. Always assume everyone promising your kids a good time is running a grift. And above all, remember the words Seinfeld said so many years ago: Nothing is "fun for the whole family." Take your kids to the park. Or better yet, to one of those breweries where they can run around and you can get happily drunk on IPAs. If they had those when my kids were little, we all would've been happier.