The Jerry Seinfeld Pop-Tart Movie Is The Least Funny And, Quite Possibly, Worst Movie Ever Made

Let me clear a few things up before I get into my thoughts about this movie.

1) Comedy is the most subjective genre. What I find funny, you might not find funny. That's fine, and if you like this movie, then I have no hate for you, and I am happy you enjoyed it. We just so happen to disagree.

2) I will not be addressing Steven Cheah's review of this movie in which he gives it over a 9-out-of-10, and hails it as one of the better comedies in recent memory. I don't believe that is a genuine review, and I am convinced he is doing it for engagement.

3) Making movies is very difficult, and nearly impossible. I am sure if I made a movie, it would suck. Much respect to anyone who makes a movie, whether it involves making millions from Netflix, or for free and a local film competition.

With all of that said, 'UNFROSTED' is the biggest pile of shit I have ever watched in my life.

Going into this movie, I have long said that 'JACK AND JILL' from Adam Sandler is the least funny, and worst movie ever made. Some have gone as far to say that movie was just a scheme for Sandler and his buddies to go on vacation. Whether that is true or not, I do not know, but I do know it is shitty and sucks ass.

But the Jerry Seinfeld Pop-Tart movie takes "shitty" to another level.

I was legitimately shocked and appalled by what I was watching.

As a huge fan of 'SEINFELD', my heart hurt as I hovered over the Netflix progress bar and saw I was only 20 minutes into the movie.

From start to finish, not a laugh was had.

What the fuck was Jerry Seinfeld thinking with this movie?

Imagine 'AIRPLANE!', 'THE NAKED GUN', 'POPSTAR', 'WALK HARD', or any parody, but just... not funny.

The jokes are layered into this movie a mile a minute, and yet none of them are funny. All of the references are super old, from the 1960's & 1970's (for the most part), but at the humor level of children? Who was this aimed at? Family friendly comedies are great, but this movie has no idea who it is for, and that's clear from the jump.

Many of the bits, which often go on way too long, are so on the nose that Seinfeld may as well pop out of the screen and punch you in the fucking face. I cringed into a puddle watching the dumpster diving kid characters mapping out a 1+1=2-level joke about Rice Krispies Treats, or Snap, Crackle, & Pop yelling their names at a funeral scene that felt like it lasted a full hour.

I'd actually go as far to say that the funeral scene in 'UNFROSTED' is the single worst scene I've ever seen in a movie.

There isn't even a coherent story for the horrible jokes to fall back on. The storyline is so dull and nonsensical that it just becomes a muddied mess where the only thing you can really comprehend is how unfunny it is.

It's not entirely shocking the story isn't great (not that I expected it to be Oscar-worthy), as it's just a vehicle for bits and cameos. As I've said already though, the bits aren't funny, and every cameo is as predictable and forced as the last. I won't spoil any of them, but there's zero nuance to any of the cameos, and they exist just so the movie can stop dead in its tracks and have they audience point to the screen like they're Leonardo DiCaprio in 'ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD'. (NOTE: I do think Hugh Grant wanted his role to be great, and he seemed to step up to the plate for it)

What's even more insane is that Jerry Seinfeld said this last week during the movie's press tour…

YOU SAY THAT, AND THEN RELEASE THIS MOVIE!?

Yes, people get offended by plenty of things these days, but the idea that comedic minds can't make jokes anymore is such a crock of shit. There are so many funny comedians who still push the envelope or shows & movies released that don't worry about reaction or blowback.

Absurdist humor is great. Dumb humor is awesome. I love 'TIM AND ERIC', and movies from The Lonely Island, but you also need to land the damn plane with these things. So much of 'UNFROSTED' is either lazy or unearned. It's almost as if you are expected to laugh by the people who made this movie simply because funny and recognizable people are involved. There's nothing clever about 'UNFROSTED', which results in nothing being funny, which in the end equals out to the least funny movie I've ever seen, and my brand new 0-out-of-100 worst movie ever made.

…and guess what, I am still going to suggest you watch it, just because it is something that needs to be seen to be believed.