The Ape Uprising is Underway as Monkeys Have Begun Tearing Down Anti-Monkey Posters
This might just be a coincidence. It could be a synchronicity. It could be a clever marketing campaign. Or, there could be something far more sinister at play.
Because no sooner does your TV and streaming viewing get inundated with trailers for the latest (and very promising) installment of The Planet of the Apes franchise, which comes out next week, than we get yet another report of apes rising up in revolt of their human overlords.
Not just some random, rogue primate teaching himself how to use our own weapons against us like we had two years ago:
No, that blade-swinging swordape was a mere household pet compared to what we're dealing with now:
Source - A gang of monkeys have taken action after posters appeared protesting their presence in a tourist hotspot.
Lopburi, Thailand, is known for its rich history, but it has another draw for visitors. In this city monkeys freely roam the streets, rubbing shoulders with the town's human inhabitants.
This is no peaceful co-existence, however. With primate attacks increasingly common, tension between man and monkey is at an all-time high and some want to see the primates gone for good.
One group even put up signs protesting against the monkeys living there on April 21. But an apparent counter-protest was launched at about 6pm the next day, when the primate population would typically turn in for the night.
However on this evening an army of animals took to the streets and bit, tore down and destroyed more than 30 of the posters.
Far be it for me to sound critical of the good people of Lopburi, Thailand, because they have my full sympathy. Like the residents of any tourist town, these folks just want to live peaceably. Enjoy the quiet, normal life of selling useless trinkets, low quality t-shirts and novelty refrigerator magnets at a tremendous markup to the suckers climbing off the bus. Which is not to much to ask for.
And they didn't want their simple life of ripping off Americans and Europeans to go tits-up at the hands of these furry little vandals. But putting up anti-monkey posters might have been just about the worst idea they could've come up with. They should've known before they even ordered these from the printer this was where this was headed. It was inevitable.
Of course they'll say, "But the monkeys can't read these signs!" Which will only prove the residents of Tourist Trap City haven't been paying attention. Of course they can read them. Which is why they went after them in the first place, as opposed to tearing down the Coca-Cola billboards or signs advertising gender-fluid brothels.
Or at least they can read them now. If you haven't noticed, or never seen a PotA movie, this is exactly how these homicidal little hominids behave. They watch us and learn. Why do you think we turned the word "ape" into a verb to describe imitating someone? Or where the expression "Monkey see, monkey do" came from?
These little poop-flinging menaces are learning at an exponential rate. And by now, it's probably too late to stop them. Even if the army rolls up on Lopburi, guns blazing, you won't have the advantage long. They'll figure out how firearms work, get their hands on some, and before you know it they'll be reverse-engineering the things and manufacturing themselves.
The only advice I can give is for these people to enjoy their last remaining days as free humans. And that goes for all of us. It starts in Thailand, but it's going to spread worldwide before we puny homo sapiens knew what hit us. The evolutionary chart is about to be flipped over on its head, and we'll be ruled by them sooner, rather than later. It's inevitable. And I for one intend to accept our fate with a song in my heart: