Random NFL Draft Pick History Nuggets I Bet You Didn't Know (Such As Which Twice Incarcerated Con-Man Was The Highest Drafted Punter)
Icon Sportswire. Getty Images.The 2024 NFL Draft is in the books and I have updated my database of every draft pick since 1936 in order to conjur up some draft nuggets I bet you didn't know. I was originally going to do my name analysis but since John Rich decided to practice writing a Doctoral Disertation replete with Crayola Crayan color grades on literally every player I'm spinzoning by putting on my old man hat to teach you young youngins about some draft history in connection with this year's draft.
And there's no better place to begin than by complaining about the lack of defense in today's game.
The last time a defensive player wasn't taken until pick 15 was less than a year after Hitler died
Oh great. Just what the NFL needs. More offense. It took 15 picks before a defensive player was selected when the Colts took defensive lineman, Laiatu Latu. Side note - my only explanation for what happened back in the day is that players were labeled in pro football reference as an offensive player and they played on both sides of the ball but maybe a real old head can explain wtf was going on there.
The Bears took Tory Taylor (a punter) in the 4th round which isn't even the second highest drafted punter they've selected since 1991, but at least neither of them have yet been convicted of multiple Ponzi schemes at the time of this writing
For the record - as a Bears fan I'm excited about the Bears getting the best weapon from a Big Ten school. No, not Caleb Williams. Iowa's punter. If Iowa has any dignity they'll build Tory Taylor a statue for what he's done. But this 122nd overall pick isn't even close to as high of a selection the Bears took on Chris Gardocki in 1991 (Round 3, 78 overall) who was an entire round later than Todd Sauerbrun in 1995 (Round 2, 56 overall).
This leads one to wonder. Was Sauerbrun the highest drafted punter ever? The answer is no. There were five taken earlier including two first rounders. Ray Guy in 1973 (pick 23) and Russell Erxleben in 1979 (pick 11). Pick 11 is absolutely bonkers for a punter. Even back in the day. How on earth did Erxlegen con the Saints into drafting him so high?
There's an answer here. It's because he's a con man.
Bo Nix ends Ed Lee's 74-Year reign as the only player in draft history to have just five letters in their first and last name
I wrote about my concerns for Dorian Thompson-Robinson last year for having the most characters for any drafted quarterback in his last name (possibly weighing him down with all that embroidery). I have a similar concern for Bo Nix for having too few names (possibly resulting in him being taken away by the wind).
But seriously, quarterbacks with only three letters in their last name don't have a great track record. The last QB with three letters drafted was Tanner Lee in 2018 followed by Chad May in 1995. Shout out to Drake Maye's ancesters. Very smart analytics move by the family to add the E.
But let's go back to the Tanners.
Two More Tanners have infected the NFL in 2024
I made this graph last year so it doesn't include 2024, but I think we can all agree the NFL was better when there were no Tanners. But they continue to proliferate in 2024 with Tanner McLachlan and even a new variant "Tanor" Bortolini. No known vaccine exists at this time to prevent future NFL Tanners, but there are working theories such as limiting alcohol consumption at club lawn bowling events.
Williams leads the way with most popular last name in NFL Draft History
Had I been hired on the Bears analytics team I would have recommended drafting Caleb Williams on account of Williams being the most popular last name in NFL history. How could you go wrong? Mario, Tent, and Ricky seemed to be alright. 331 total Williams's have been drafted which is ten more than runner-up "Smith" at 321. Johnson and Jones are third and fourth most popular respectively and all four of the top-drafted names saw three players selected in 2024.
The only question now is who leads in NFL Williams' teammates. What a nighmare that would be for me to do as I did with NBA Willams' teammates by piecing together the profile pic screen clips. Hard pass on that.
That's it for now. Good luck to all the new draftees. Work hard. Get paid. And please…stay out of trouble.
I'm looking at you, Tory Taylor.