America's Pitcher: Matt 'Tugboat' Wilkinson Is Mowing His Way Through the Minor Leagues and Into Our Hearts

I am officially obsessed with Tugboat Wilkinson. I'd buy a plane ticket to Arlington, Texas right now if you told me this guy was going to pitch in the Futures Game during All-Star Week. If MLB doesn't make that happen, it truly is the most hopelessly inept marketing organization on the planet.

There's simply nothing better than watching an absolute unit take the mound and send opposing hitters back to the dugout pissed off and befuddled as to how they just struck out on three pitches from a guy who looks like he came straight from Golden Corral to the ballpark. That's what makes this sport so beautiful.

The people are demanding more Tugboat, though. I'm going to be locked in to the Lynchburg Hillcats' social media channels and when Tugboat's next start is announced, I will have it on a screen in my home somewhere. I have decided I am going to follow this legend's journey through professional baseball like he's my own real life Road to The Show character. And if the Hillcats are able to get a bobblehead in place before the end of the season — though Tugboat shouldn't be toiling away in Single-A for too long — I will be there with bells on.

I've never been more certain that someone was going to be a star.