I Want To Know How Much the Falcons Paid These Actors To Pretend They Were Excited About Drafting Michael Penix

I hope these people slept well last night after getting $100 to put on a Falcons jersey and shill for a multi-billion-dollar organization while those of us actually invested in it got shit on. Was it a good time having the NFL dress you and smiling for the Falcons social guy?

I've been able to express my frustrations towards Terry Fontenot and Arthur Blank, so now most of my anger is directed at this piece of shit wearing an authentic jersey that's designed to go over shoulder pads — I could be wrong, but I don't believe you can even buy those — and pretending to be excited about the Falcons royally fucking up. I hope whatever Detroit-area production of Wicked this guy is in fails miserably and he lives out his days yearning for an insurance commercial that never comes.

Fuck all of this, man. They really drafted a 24-year-old quarterback after signing Kirk Cousins in a year where getting the right pass rusher could have made this team special. Hell, you could have talked me into taking Rome Odunze and just continuing to stack the offense with weapons now that we already had a quarterback.

But now we have two. Lucky us.