Top 10 Tuesday: Best Ages

….well, that's not the truest quote in the world. Not sure which name is appropriate to fill in here that will hammer my point home without without crossing any lines (Epstein? Weinstein? Giddey?), but age certain does matter to more than cheese. In fact, age matters quite a bit. And after having this discussion with a few coworkers, I've learned that everyone has very different opinions on what the best age you can be is. Some people value free time, some people value money, and some people value things like still being on their parents insurance. 

So without further adieu, here is MY Top 10 Best Ages.

#10. 70 Years Old

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I ran this list by a couple employees before publishing, and this one had the most polarizing of discussion. In my opinion, being 70 would be….okay? That's why I put it on my list. But some other people on the blogger's floor (Chief, Danny Conrad) felt it would be a GREAT age to be. The positives are obvious: you no longer have to work, and you should be financially stable enough to not have to worry too much about anything. It's almost like being a kid again, except now you get to make your own choices. Except it's not? You're old, things don't work as well, you have medical issues, you have friends and family that are not longer there. Don't get me wrong, being retired will be cool, but 70 is no higher than the 10th best age to be.

#9. 52 Years Old

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I'd guess your feeling on this age is determined by how old your parents are / were at your most important moments, but I think 52 is when I was able to finally start having beers with my parents, not have them on my backs about things, and simply enjoying family time. Until you graduate college, your parents still have an opinion, and still have say, over what you do….especially if they're contributing financially. But once I turned like 23 years old, I was out on my own, they had no more dependents to worry about, and things like family dinner, trips to breweries, and vacations elevated to the next level. I look forward to being 52 and looking at the successes of the kids I raised, as well.

#8. 2 Years Old

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My first risk in the rankings, but am I wrong? When you're two years old, you have ZERO worries in the world. I get that your brain isn't developed and you have zero memories of being two, which is why it isn't higher on my list, but think about what two year olds do all day: eat, sleep, watch TV, and do they still suck on titties? No a bad life, if so. 

#7. 16 Years old

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I would argue, pretty strongly too, that getting your license is the biggest milestone of your entire life. Like, yes, you can legally drink at 21…..but everyone does it before that. Driving though? I didn't run with anyone in my circle that was out there driving without a license. And once you do have the ability to drive, you have new level of freedom that is unparalleled for the rest of your life. Especially if you have a car, you can do anything. Get food when you want it. Go to the movies if you want to. Hang out with friends if you want to. You can even sneak out if you're a bad boy….

But I must say: being 16 back when we were 16 was MUCH better than it is today. This Life360 app that tells you parents if you even take a different turn on the way home from the Friday Night Football game is complete bullshit. 

#6. 12 Years Old

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Being 12 is the last version of being a "kid", if you ask me. Once you're a teenager, you begin to get more responsibilities and chores and overall bullshit to deal with. But at 12, you're playing sports with your friends every day. You're old enough to stay at home without a baby sitter for short periods of time. You get a little more choice and a little more freedom. You can stay up (past 9!) and play video games if you want, and then school still doesn't start until like 9 am the next day (at least for me). Speaking of school, it's not hard yet. It's still just reading and multiplication and shit, not starting the more advanced Maths until 7th grade or later. And most importantly, you don't have to work. Even though you can't technically start employee til what, 15 or 16, you know your parents start making you do shit like cutting the grass, shoveling the driveway, etc more when you're 13 to earn their Yes to requests for hanging out with friends.

And honestly, one key thing for me is at 12, you're old enough to remember all of the fun stuff you did at 12.

#5. 31 Years Old

This is how old I am right now. And a lot of people have been saying that being in your low-30s is the perfect age, but I disagree, because there are officially things that I can no longer do because I'm too old. Do I want to go out with Nicky Smokes every weekend? Fuck no, but it'd be nice to be able to turn back the clock every once in a few months and not have a 3-day hangover following it. Things like Bachelor Parties and Football Tailgates change when you get to your 30s. You start doing things like "needing a bed" instead of just needing a roof, and you care about things like if the bar you're going to has the audio for the game instead of free shots after touchdowns.

#4. 20 Years Old

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People are probably going to say I missed on not having 21 on this list, but I feel that 20 is very similar, with a few improvements. One is that you have turning 21 to look forward to. I'll be honest with you guys: since I turned 21, I'm not sure I've looked forward to anything again in my entire life, let alone a birthday. The second thing I liked about being 20, and I get this won't be everyone's cup of tea, is how risky it was sometimes. Like, you're out here planning your entire night around the fact that the bouncer at the door isn't going to take your Fake ID at the door. You're still scheming how to get beer. You're memorizing your address. It just felt like once you turned 21, everything was easy. 20 still had the chase to it.
#3. 8 Years Old

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I think this will be my most controversial response, but hear me out. At 8 years old, you really have "zero worries in the world" for the very last time. At 8, girls and boys don't matter, everyone is the same. So even at 12, while it's cool to have all those things I listed above, you still worry about the upcoming middle school dance and dating and all that dumb shit. At 8, you live for rec baseball and recess. That's it. Your parents still pack your lunch. Your teachers still speak to you in a nice way. And Christmas is still fucking awesome. Obviously you're still on someone else's time and money, so it can't be the best age to be, but there's things adults worry about every day of their life that 8 years haven't even heard about yet.

#2. 18 Years Old

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I chose the age of 18, but what I want is the part of your life between high school graduation and going off to college. Don't get me wrong, that first summer back from college is elite too, but everyone changes a little once they go off and learn a new lifestyle. That last summer with the friends you've had for the last decade of your life is…..special. Whether it be a bullshit summer job, a Senior Trip, experimenting with alcohol tolerance to train for college, finding out who's parents were going on vacation when, etc etc etc, I wouldn't trade that age for anything. You don't need to worry about fucking up and becoming ineligible for high school sports, because high school is over. You get 3 months to do literally whatever the fuck you want, hopefully on your parents dime, until you go become whoever you want to be in college. 

#1. 25 Years Old

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This better have a 100.0% consensus. Being 25 is the PERFECT combination of having no school, actual money in your bank account, complete freedom of both how you spend your money and time, a friend group that has narrowed to people you truly enjoy hanging with….and if you're lucky, you're in good shape / still attractive. When you're 25, you're so versatile. You can still do Bachelor Party weekends when you're at the Strip Club until 4 am, waking up the next morning to golf at 7:40……but you also can dress up and do nice things on the weekend because you have both the financial security and maturity to do so. Plus your friends start to get married (but don't have fucking kids yet that ruin everything), and wedding season is still fun instead of a pain in the ass like it is once you're in your 30s and would rather just watch college football. 

Okay, that's MY list. I give it a 10/10, 100%, A+.