How Having A Baby Fractured 8 Of My Vertebrae And Why The F*** Is It So Hard To Get An MRI
About a month ago I wrote about Brittany Mahomes announcing her broken, postpartum spine on Insta, and in true Kate form I made it about me and my own back pain struggles following the birth of my son in October.
That blog ended with me in a blue robe about to go in the tube after a desperate, months long battle to finally get an MRI and, as I still hadn't gotten the results yet, this was one of the last lines:
Will I have fractures like Brittany Mahomes? Still waiting to hear back but I sure hope so, otherwise I'm going to look like a lunatic. Either way, all I know is the pain is real.
Lo & behold, a couple days after that blog post I got a call in the middle of The Yak. My doctor at the VA told me there were 8 fractures, (L1,2,3 & 5, and T8-11), two bulging discs, one large hematoma, (and a partridge in a pear tree). I believe I actually replied to her with a, "Oh Hell yes, finally!" because I knew something was really wrong, and had been begging doctors at the civilian hospital to help me for so long I'd started to think maybe I was nuts. (Not being able to take care of your own kids is hard enough, but throw birth hormones into the mix and ah-yikes, I was goin through it.) So yeah, oddly I was thrilled to be validated.
PLUS, in the meantime, a Stoolie (who'd been following my woe-is-me saga on Instagram) had sent me an article by his buddy's wife (Aimee Lucido) that he felt might crack the case of exactly why I was going through all this pain. The article sounded extremely bizarre, (My Daughter Drank My Bones?!) but as I read it I actually started sobbing at my kitchen counter because her story was exactly like mine and I felt like I could finally put a name to the problem. Months of begging medical professionals to take her pain seriously & praying for a * miracle (* insurance allowing real care), all the while being unable to care for her baby alone… Once she FINALLY got the testing she needed, it turned out she had Pregnancy & Lactation Osteoporosis (PLO).
To put PLO in dum dum Kate terms - due to a rare disorder, breastfeeding was literally sucking the minerals out of her bones and turning her spine into Swiss cheese, so she was breaking and it was agonizing.
This entire time through all the pain I was exclusively breastfeeding my son & pumping as much extra as I could in between, and turns out it was likely I was destroying my whole skeleton in the process with zero clue.
After The Yak ended that day I went back to the VA ER armed with that article ready to go on my phone. I got a CT scan, bloodwork, a huge piss jug to take home, and then the neurosurgeon on call came in to go over the fractures. He assured me this was just a freak thing, that I should keep breastfeeding, and whenever I got my period back I'd stop breaking. He wouldn't look at the article and told me I was way too young for osteoporosis, so PLO was out of the question. Folks, I was in a glass case of emotions.
I'd finally gotten most of the answers I was looking for, but still left the hospital that night with zero pain control or plan of care. He just told me to "drink more vitamins". This nearly broke me all over again, because the pain was legit debilitating over all these months, and I was terrified of breaking more or going backwards, and I'd gotten my hopes up thinking they'd know how to help.
Thankfully I'd read that article the Stoolie sent, and knew the next step was to press for a referral to an endocrinologist (expert on hormones/how they effect bones) & get a DEXA scan (measures bone density). (I have since DMed Lucido to thank her for that article and she's wonderful.)
The DEXA scan revealed severe osteoporosis & the endocrinologist confirmed I have the bones of an elderly woman and am at a high risk for fracture. He also said that yes, it was very likely PLO and urged me to stop breastfeeding as soon as I could (a whole process in itself, iykyk). He also got me approved for a brand new drug that I'll get shots of once a month behind each arm. (LOVE that the drug website is elderly gals & porcelain dolls). I've had one so far & hopefully it regrows a lot of the bone loss, and weaning the baby off the boob will slow any more of the issue.
In the meantime, I've lost several inches of height, am curved like an ancient candy cane, cannot be alone with my own children or take them anywhere because I can't lift the baby, am still in pain & am paranoid of breaking more, and going off all the research I've done, it will take a long time to recover from this, if I ever fully do. (Cue the Waaaah-mbulance). Anything heavier than a light step feels like I'm about to snap, and I'm afraid I'm just one trip away from square one. It sucks because I fuckin' LOVE mommin' around, and now it's hard to even get on the floor and play magnetites with my toddler, let alone take him hiking or keep up with him here in the city. This was me on a park bench last weekend:
I'm also in a group with other women who have PLO now, and every story is almost exactly the same. New moms being told that "new moms just have back pain", and meanwhile their spines keep breaking for months while they beg for help. My civilian care team referred me to a social worker who called and said, "I'm so sorry but I don't know what I could even do for you?" when what I desperately needed was an MRI, DEXA scan & an endocrinologist.
They say their hands were tied by insurance requiring 6 weeks of PT to qualify for an MRI, but a few weeks ago my dad had a lump on his arm and got an MRI that same week. And if they really believed my pain couldn't they have pushed harder for MRI approval? I legit don't know how things work (obviously), but I do believe dealing with insurance has got to be the worst for doctors. Who is gatekeeping these MRIs? Why are they so hard to get, and so wildly expensive (even with the help of insurance). I just wish I'd known sooner what was going on so I could have stopped breastfeeding and stopped the bone loss before it got as bad as it did. Also - living under a rock alert - I wish I'd known you could just go out and get your own MRI for like $1K. That's no small beans for me, but I'd have done that forever ago.
Anyways, I don't know how many new moms this will reach, but our pain gets brushed off and chalked up to "classic postpartum issues" like it's not still real fuckin' pain. If you've had a baby and are struggling to function, that's not normal even if it's something your doctor says is "common". Keep pushing for answers and asking them, "Ok, so what's next in my care plan here to take care of this common thing?", because suffering (especially while keeping a baby alive) shouldn't be accepted as the norm. Fuuuuck that.
ALSO, final note (is anyone still reading this? I think this blog has been more for me as I come to terms with my new reality, and yes I know there are waaaaay worse things but it still stinks atm) but I couldn't have gotten through it this far without family & friends. My parents, extended fam and cousins have been so helpful from traveling to help with the kids, to getting me breastmilk to help transition my son to the bottle, to just listening to me whine (and ok maybe some solid edibles so I could finally sleep). Coworkers have brought over meals and taken our toddler for chunks on the weekend, and friends have sent dinner kits among other things. It's hard to get totally down on the situation when there's so much love goin' around. My heart breaks for any moms going through this who don't have support. Keep going until you find it because there's always good people out there willing to help.
Anyways, growing a backbone is something I've always needed to do anyways, and I'm sure I'll be crushing it by summer.