Top 10 Tuesday: 90s Country Music Songs (Holy Fuck This Was Hard)
Listen, I'll admit that I didn't realize the buzzsaw I was walking into when I first announced the topic for this week. When I tweeted this topic yesterday afternoon, I figured I'd get a few favorites, a couple supportive replies from my Mom and Aunt, and a whole hell lot of "Country music? No one fucking cares, buddy. Go back to teaching!" But what happened was it immediately became the most contentious topic I've ever discussed on the internet. Hundreds of replies telling me who better be on my list or it's immediately invalidated. And I thought to myself, fuck, maybe I should've gone with the classic "Best Beers To Drink" instead and kept everyone happy. But nope, I'm sticking to it, and all I'll say is when you tear this motherfucker apart, just remember that Heavy Lies The Crown and you're all welcome to publish your own Top 10 list for me to pinpoint one song you left off and call your entire list trash because of it.
Okay, quick backstory as to why I chose this for this week: what happened is that on Saturday night, I was sitting alone in my apartment watching the Final Four, enjoying a few suds, and listening to the only music I listen to: Country. I decided to take a Country Music Challenge on TikTok…..
….the amount of people that were shocked of my beer choice / music choice shocked me! Who the fuck do you think I am? Not sure what part of "Ohio's Tate" gave off anything other than domestic beer and hillbilly music, but I'm here to clear it up for you all today. That's the ONLY thing I listen to. Brandon Walker tried to talk to me about Lizzo's music on the Rundown yesterday and I froze up like a stream in the Winter. And speaking of Brandon Walker…..when I announced this week's topic, my mentions became flooded with people letting me know that he's the knower of all 90s Country. Has the answer key to the test, apparently. I'm interested to see what he says about this list then because one thing I'd like to point out is that he merely adopted the 90s…..I was born into them.
Here we go:
10. Queen Of My Doublewide Trailer (Sammy Kershaw - 1993)
9. She's In Love With The Boy (Trisha Yearwood - 1991)
8. Meet In The Middle (Diamond Rio - 1991)
7. Check Yes Or No (George Strait - 1995)
6. Dust On The Bottle (David Lee Murphy - 1994)
5. Should've Been A Cowboy (Toby Keith - 1993)
4. Something Like That (Tim McGraw - 1999)
3. John Deere Green (Joe Diffy - 1993)
2. Watermelon Crawl (Tracy Byrd - 1994)
1. Chattahoochee (Alan Jackson - 1992)
That's my list and I'm sticking to it. The formula I used was:
33% - Beat
33% - Lyrics
33% - Beer Drinkability
0% - What I thought you guys would put
Alright, I hate to do this, but I'm coming out for an encore. Ranking Snacks and People You'd Like To Drink a Beer With was easy, but 90s Country Music? This is tough. The hardest thing I've ever had to do. And I just know that the moment I press publish, no one is going to pat me on the back and say solid list, but everyone and their brother is going to point out that I left off Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn. So what I'm going to do now is release rankings 20-11….and if you still have a problem with my list after that, shout it from the hills of Kaycee, Wyoming.
20. Sold (John Michael Montgomery - 1995)
19. Daddy's Money (Ricochet - 1994)
18. Strawberry Wine (Deana Carter - 1996)
17. My Maria (Brooks and Dunn - 1996)
16. I'm In A Hurry (Alabama - 1992)
15. Heads Carolina, Tails California (Jo Dee Messina - 1996)
14. Too Much Fun (Daryle Singletary - 1995)
13. How Forever Feels (Kenny Chesney - 1999)
12. Wink (Neal McCoy - 1994)
11. Blue Clear Sky (George Strait - 1996)
Notable Omissions: Neon Moon, Friends In Low Places, Where The Green Grass Grows, Don't Take The Girl, Bobbie Ann Mason, Small Town Saturday Night, God Blessed Texas, Little Bitty, Gone Country, Dixie Chicks songs
…..I love all of those songs. I just had to narrow it down to the Top 20, and I wasn't going to include Neon Moon just to appease the masses when I like Daddy's Money better.
Alright, let's hear it.