Some Asshole In New Jersey Just Cashed Last Night's $1.2 BILLION Mega Millions After Hand Picking Their Own Numbers

Source - NEPTUNE, N.J. (AP) — Someone in New Jersey who bought a single ticket overcame the odds Tuesday night and won the $1.13 billion Mega Millions jackpot, breaking a winless streak that dated to last December.

The numbers drawn were: 7, 11, 22, 29, 38 and the gold Mega Ball 4. State lottery officials said the winning ticket was sold at ShopRite Wines & Spirits of Neptune, which is located on the Jersey Shore. It was the biggest jackpot win in state history, according to New Jersey Lottery officials.

Jesus Christ. And I thought I had a good week? Also where is Large? I'm pretty sure he lives in New Jersey and just went to the Bahamas. Maybe he won it, although he probably wouldn't notice the difference...(extreme Rick James voice)...The rich motha fucka! 

Kidding. I wrote that sentence just to piss him off. Mostly because he's on a (well deserved) vacation and I'm not.

Anywho, the shitty part about this is that we'll probably never know who won. New Jersey is one of only eighteen states that allows lottery winners to remain anonymous. Although I'm sure it'll eventually leak considering 90% of the state is made up of loud-mouthed Italians. (No offense to Italians.) Uncle Anthony is gonna show up to the next BBQ in a Bugatti then the cat will be outta the bag, which is fine by me. I wanna follow this guy's story. What kind of house did he buy? What kind of cars? Is he going to give any money away? I just hope to god it's a younger kid so at least he can enjoy it. The worst is when it's a old lady. 

The lump sum option is $551,700,000 PRETAX so you have figure he'll take home half of that. Still- talk about an unbelievable pay day. Congrats to whoever it is and if you're a Stoolie, don't forget me. Thanks in advance.