Ben Affleck was Low Key Begging JLo Not to Do Her New Movie at Every Turn and the Results Were Hilarious
Broadimage. Shutterstock Images.Jennifer Lopez just drove her career off a cliff with Ben sitting shotgun and we all got the see the fiery crash in real-time.
The DunKing did everything in his power to stop Jenny from getting dragged up and down the block, but a husband can only say so much before you just buckle up, accept your fate and pray for a quick death and that's exactly what unfolded in their new documentary, 'The Greatest Love Story Never Told.'
The doc was meant to serve as a behind-the-scenes look at her new movie, 'This is Me… Now,' but has quickly turned into a highlight reel of cringey clips for the internet to showcase her delusions.
Her "muse," asked her to keep their private life private. He pointed out that she already made an album about it so why did they need a movie and documentary too, he cited that they broke up the first time because of all the media attention and yet here she was putting it out there for all to see.
JLo sinking 20 million of her own dollars into the project was something that Ben could live with, but after hearing her ideas and seeing her steaming pile of script, he knew it would cost much more in the long run.
Jenny, he (kind of) wrote 'Good Will Hunting,' he made the best picture of the year 'Argo,' let Ben cook!
You could actually see Ben's soul leaving his body with every "papi" she uttered. That word sounds as foreign in her mouth as "bodega" or "orange drink," two of her favorite things in the Bronx aside from Sbarro's.
The movie was destined to be a piece of shit, that was clear as day, but the doc was something none of them could have seen coming. I don't know how anyone on her PR team let this thing see the light of day.
From making sure the "mud is muddy enough" to pulling out her hair in the gym, to the laundry list of celebrities who declined cameos, this was a clear sabotage job. Even "yes men" would say no to this, which makes me think that she has no inner circle at all. She's got people to yell at, people to hold her gum and people to kiss her ass (one perk).
Here's what they green-lit for the public to see (makes you wonder what didn't make the cut):
Bonus gum spit:
These projects make 'Gigli' look like 'Citizen Kane.' I can already envision the sequel to "Taco Flavored Kisses" being written by the 'South Park' team as I write this.
You can be an artist in anything, food, whatever. It depends on how good you're at it. Turns out JLo's greatest art is killing Ben's spirit. Let Papi drive for a while. He's been through enough.