Local News Captures Massholes' Complete Apathy Toward the Red Sox

CJ GUNTHER. Shutterstock Images.

It's one thing to be coming off a season where you finished in last place, under-.500, 23 games out of first, while watching small market teams that have zero business competing with your team go to the postseason. The normal reaction to that is for a fanbase to be angry, frustrated, and demand major changes that guarantee it never happens again. 

A franchise can handle that. Because anger, frustration and demands for change are raw human emotions that prove people care. As it's so often been said in pop songs and proven by RomComs, there truly is a thin line between love and hate. When you really have to worry is when people stop caring enough to get angry, frustrated, or demanding. 

Because by any definition, the exact opposite of love is indifference. When the other side in the relationship stops caring, you're never going to enjoy the makeup sex that makes all the anger, frustration and demanding worth experiencing. 

Which is precisely where the Red Sox are at, if this local news report is any indication. Spoiler: It is:

Five people. All just outside of Fenway. Presumably a randomly selected group, representing a cross section of the population. All asked to name one player on the current roster now that the season opener is eight days away. One dude was able to name Rafael Devers. Another waxed nostalgic about the days when a Pedro Martinez start was appointment viewing, a full 19 seasons after Pedro left Boston. And the others combine to go 0-for-3.

To be fair to the Red Sox, you can find low-info Americans on any sidewalk in the country. Hell, Jay Leno managed to glean hundreds of hours out of this safe, inoffensive bit to appeal to the comedy sensibilities of The Tonight Show's target demo of Midwestern retirees:

But even if this reporter talked to 100 people, there has never been a time in the last half a century in Boston where five of them would only be able to name one Red Sox player. Never. Hell, if you did this same survey in say, 2007, three of the five would be able to give you the Opening Day batting order. Two of the five would be wearing a Red Sox player's jersey. And at least two of them would've called sports radio in the last 24 hours to bitch about Terry Francona not bunting enough. 

But even if you put no stock in the apathy of a randomly selected group of Kenmore Square pedestrians, there's no ignoring the last part of this video. Tickets on the secondary market going for 11 bucks. I'm sure Sox ownership would love to dismiss the part where their cheap, low-cost, Ocean State Job Lot roster is as familiar to the general Masshole public as a Sri Lankan cricket team. That is, as long as they keep spending that sweet, sweet cheddar. Once tickets are going for less than an afternoon showing of Dune Part Two and it still looks like half the capacity of Fenway came dressed as empty seats, then it'll be time to sound the "Abandon Ship" alarm. Because this once proud franchise is going down. 

But I'm assuming it's already too late. And I am saddened, not gladdened by this. Profoundly. As much as I despise this ownership and hope security has to spend all 81 home games pulling "SELL THE TEAM" signs out of people's hands, I sincerely miss caring about this team. But there are only to many Mookie Bettses they can send packing while they buy up British soccer clubs and NHL franchises before we all disengage. I don't want to spend my summer between the end of the Celtics and Bruinsseasons and the start of Patriots training camp just living my life. I'd love to have something else to care about for those couple of months. But I just don't see any way the Red Sox are going to be that thing. And based on this report, I'm not alone. 

Sad. Very, very sad.