Athletes Can Fuck Again: The "Intimacy Ban" Has Been Lifted For The 2024 Olympics

I didn't even know that there was an intimacy ban in the first place. Having sex was banned at the Tokyo Olympics due to the COVID-19 pandemic where athletes had to practice social distancing. But how would the Olympics even know if the athletes were fucking? Do they have special people who just stake out to make sure no one is having sex? How can you ban adults from having sex? If a german pole vaulter and a Swedish swimmer want to do the dirty, who are they to stop them?! So many questions, so little time.

However, fear not! This time, Olympians are being provided with 300,000 condoms!!!! Woooooohoooooo!! Paris is the city of love! It's the perfect setting to find some action! The Olympic village will host around 14,500 athletes and staff so they will be well equipped! I love how the Olympics is so open in practicing safe sex and also how the Olympics are just a huge orgy for the athletes. 

PS: As it turns out, condoms have actually been given out at the Olympics since 1988. 

"It is very important that the conviviality here is something big," village director Laurent Michaud said.

Oh yeah, I am sure that the conviviality is very important. I had to look up what that word means, and its "the quality of being friendly and lively; friendliness." I'm sure everyone is gonna get super friendly! Sex for all!