Is Sydney Sweeney Bringing Back Boobs?
It’s not often that the internet comes together to agree on something, but Slate put out an article the other day disparaging Sydney Sweeney’s double Ds and the Bonk Boys came out in DROVES.
One of the funnier community notes you’ll see on this hellscape, simple and to the point. You don’t think Sydney Sweeney’s boobs are that big? “Yes, they are.”
But it got me thinking, are boobs back?
In order to answer this question, we first must go back to when boobs fell to the Great Ass Uprising.
Now this is not to say that boobs were ever gone, but not since the days of Pamela Anderson have we, as a society, been so obsessed with someone’s chest. Hell, there are plastic surgeons who own their second and third homes thanks to the craze that followed Pamela’s chesticles. Men wanted her and women wanted to be her. She was THE sex symbol of the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s and was the first person to ever go viral.
(The history books will tell you that it was the dancing baby, peanut butter jelly time or some fat kid dancing to “Numa Numa” in 2004, but make no mistake about it, it was Pam and Tommy Lee’s wrench that planted that flag first, all the way back in 1996.)
From that point forward there was always a new flavor of the month everywhere you looked.
Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, Salma Hayek, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Biel, the list goes on and on.
Could it be that I’m just looking back on that time fondly with areola colored glasses? Absolutely.
Was I just a young, dumb kid who preferred T over A and didn’t know any better? Yes, but also, who was there to choose from other than JLo at that time?
Let's face it, she was a passing quarterback in a rushing league. “Baby Got Back” was a novelty song they played at block parties in between “Ice Ice Baby” and “YMCA.”
So when did the shift happen?
Well as fate would have it, lightning would strike twice in the form of another celebrity sex tape. Only this sex tape would be powered by a MUCH different internet and Kris Jenner.
Kim Kardashian’s “leak” happened in March of 2007, ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ debuted on October 14, 2007 and the impact is still felt to this day.
The explosion that the Kardashian clan had on the BBL movement should be studied in economics classes. It wasn’t just enough to tone it (shout out Jen Selter), you had to have the biggest.
We all remember that viral picture of Nicki Minaj perched on a chair, legs out to the sides like she was balancing a tight rope. And who could forget the ‘Anaconda’ music video? I’m sure it’s permanently burned into many of your skulls.
This run has been historic to say the least, but every dynasty must come to a close and with rumors of butt fillers being removed, the writing was on the wall. There had been flashes in the pan over the course of time that made you think “could it be? Could this be the moment the boobs bounce back?”
Kate Upton’s Cat Daddy, EmRata in Blurred Lines, Alexandra Daddario existing just to name a few, but alas nothing has had the staying power that we’ve seen from Sweeney.
From basically every episode of Euphoria, to the story of her mom convincing her not to get a reduction, to her granny declaring she has the “best tits in Hollywood,” the stars have aligned in a way that would make Romulus and Remus smile. AND SHE CAN ACT.
No disrespect to miss Anderson, but this ain’t no Baywatch or Barb Wire situation. Sydney is much more than just someone who’s nice to look at and that’s why this movement has legs.
She’s just getting started, she’s diversifying her projects, she has a chance to be a top tier talent and what’s more, she knows it.
Nothing more dangerous than a girl with a plan and the tools to execute. Tits up, time to take over the world.