We've Officially Lost Our Damn Minds With Jay Bilas Talking About Arresting Every Person Who Storms The Court
Ah, yes. I was wondering when we'd really start getting some takes off about court storming. I mean, sure, people were talking about how we need to ban it on Saturday after the Wake Forest game, but now we're getting the good stuff. Arrest every person who rushes the court or give them a citation. That always works in college. Nobody ever drinks underage after their first citation. Stopped that problem on college campuses everywhere from day 1.
While we're at it, I've come up with better solutions than arresting a thousand people:
1) Build a moat around the floor and the stands - fill it with fish, seaweed and other gross things
2) Make every game in a cage like Hell in a Cell.
3) Lumberjack match. Let the fans feel even more involved by being able to hold down opponents who go flying into the stands.
4) Line up tripwire around the floor. Just make everyone fall trying to get out there.
5) Discovery Zone ball pit on the baseline. You can rush the floor, but you're 100% getting sick doing so.
If we can say anything I'd love to hear someone argue against a moat. That would be sweet, especially if you had an aquatic nickname for a team. LIU Sharks? You know where we're heading here. Get some sharks in that water and see what happens. Maryland with a bunch of turtles floating around? It'd actually be a homecourt advantage like they once had hating the everliving shit out of JJ Redick. Hell, I'd even let Navy put some boats in their arena. If we're talking about arresting people, let's get weird with it all.
It's as simple as this. We shouldn't ban storming the court, that's idiotic. Teams just need to be prepared. There are hundreds of court storms where nothing happens. Weird we don't hear people screaming during those. Wake had nobody ready. There was no security, no rope, nothing. All you gotta do is have people hold ground for like 10 seconds, get the rope out and make sure the opposing team is off the floor. But storming the court/rushing the field? It's awesome. It's part of what makes college sports great.