How Much Money Would You Need To Make To Carry DJ Khaled Around So He Doesn't Get His Jordans Dirty?
Pride is such a funny little thing. At the end of the day, we're all a bunch of disgusting animals who are just pissing and shitting and humping our way through life on this giant floating rock in space. There's no need to take ourselves that seriously.
So if a job offering opened up to become DJ Khaled's personal carrier to make sure he doesn't crease or scuff up his Jordans, what is your starting point at the negotiating table?
I don't know if everyone else has run into DJ Khaled fatigue, but I have not. If anything, I've become an even bigger DJ Khaled fan the more that time has passed. The more you peel back the layers of the DJ Khaled onion, the more incredible this man becomes. There are 7 billion people on this Earth. If 6,999,999,999 other people in the world had a couple of beefy dudes carry them from their car to a stage just to keep their shoes clean, I'd think they are the biggest asshole in the world. But for DJ Khaled? It somehow feels way less demeaning.
If anything it seems like a great way to get some daily exercise in. No offense to DJ Khaled or anything, but I wouldn't necessarily consider him the pinnacle of health. He's at least the bar and a few plates. Carry him around a few times a day and you're well on your way to being a shredded beefcake. All I'm saying is that I'm not financially well off enough to completely turn down the offer if the price was right. You ever see prices for diapers and formula these days? Let's just call it $250K for the year. And I'd be willing to exchange having holidays off if it means I get to bring the clubs out every time Khaled goes golfing.