President Biden Says The Key To A Happy Marriage Is "Good Sex"

Daily Mail - Even after 47 years of marriage, the romance between President Joe Biden and Jill Biden is far from dead. 

From kisses before he boards Air Force One to date nights and him introducing himself as 'Jill's husband', the stress of the White House has showed no signs of straining their relationship.

But, in private, the president has revealed some very risqué secrets about why their bond is so strong, much to his wife's annoyance.

He infuriates wife Jill by joking that the key to their 47-year marriage is 'good sex'.

The president gives that marital advice to aides 'much to his wife's chagrin,' reports Rogers, a longtime White House reporter for the New York Times.

Well, here we are. 

If we're being totally honest, Joe Biden was not the President I would have guessed who went on the record talking about keeping his wife happy for 40 years by fucking her good. But here we are. 

(Sidebar- that list goes 1-Clinton, 2- George W., 3- Trump, 4- Taft, 5- Fillmore, 6- Polk, 7- Harding, 8- Cleveland, 9- Tyler, 10- Garfield) 

But I have an honest question, that I don't mean to offend anybody with. But I'm sincerely, truthfully curious. 

With all due respect, do old people seriously fuck? No offense.

I'm not talking about heavy kissing and petting. We've all seen plenty of that. I'm talking insertion, penetration, and legit banging. As in cheeks clapping. Yelling, screaming, hair pulling, slapping, squirting, facials, real nasty shit. (Editor's Note: Dante, take a cold shower my heavens)

If so, how does this happen? 

Most old people can barely move or complete basic motor functions without throwing out a hip, their backs, their knee, or winding up in the hospital. The physical act of sex isn't exactly easy. Especially if you're doing it right. It's not like old ladies can whip their legs behind their heads or reverse cowgirl while dropping it low. Unless I'm just that ignorant and I have no clue what they're capable of? 

Obviously, we're talking major use of PED's right? Dick pills, roman wipes, lubes and lotions of all sorts, cock rings, dildos vibrators and the whole shabang. When you've got Hunter's room down the hall, there's no doubt the commander in chief's taken a peek inside his bag of toys or asked for some tips. Right?

Either way, I think I speak for us all when I say we'd like some answers.

President Biden can barely stay awake, or walk up a flight of stairs. Or speak. How is he capable of taking Dr. Jill to pound town properly? 

Inquiring minds want to know.