Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tonight, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Fans Scream CTE At Me For Saying The Super Bowl Was Fixed

 

On Sunday night as I laid in traffic screaming for someone to do it (due to the Chiefs winning their second Super Bowl in a row), something didn’t sit right with me.

Endorphins were painfully rushing through my body knowing I had spewed nonsense about them not making the playoffs for the last two years. (And not to mention I lost $5,000 on the game).

As a man who has put on the Silver & Black and played a pivotal role in moving them to a new city, I’ve never been able to bring myself to pull for the Chiefs in the same way the NFL and their officiating crews do.

I had a decision to make.

Stand idly by and watch Chiefs Kingdom celebrate in our faces...or stand on business and apply the principles of General Sun Tzu’s Art of War to collect my final infinity stone of chaos.

I chose chaos.

 

 

Step one: Positioning 

“Know your enemy and know yourself.” I had to analyze what has worked in the past and where the Kingdom would be weak and vulnerable. 

This was not hard to figure out. 

As a Missouri kid myself, I’m aware that we are known for our lack of education, high STD rate, and higher COVID rate. Most of us are idiots. (Respectfully, of course). We are victims in a state that thrives on beer sales, tobacco, and pornographic video stores off of every highway exit and it shows.

Posting about the NFL being fixed like the WWE was a no brainer. 

But also —I’d be lying if I said that I knew it would do the damage that it did.

 

 

The execution was flawless —but the real work had not yet begun.

Step 2: Plan of Attack

“Supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.”

I knew I had them when they came after my 10 year Hall of Fame career and mentioned CTE. They were broken. Delusional. The fact that they don’t think I’ll be wearing a gold jacket one day is mind blowing.

Look through the replies if you get a minute. They’re amazing.

 

 

 

Even my own brother shot me a text.

 

 

The plan was coming together better than I had anticipated. The only thing left was the third and final step.

Step 3: Ratio them so hard they’ll have to learn how to walk again.

Once a post gets big enough and enters a new audience to where people have absolutely no idea who I am, it becomes soft toss at that point. 

 

 

 

 

It got so bad the young man had to resort to victimizing himself. 

 

 

Kobe Bryant calls it “the zone.”

Everything gets quiet. You become oblivious to everything going on and become the present moment. 

 

 

Needless to say, it’s been a very fun week with everyone. 

Now we can all go back to watching the mainstream media as they brainwash us into believing the Chiefs were a true underdog story and how they won fair and square.

But just know that I know the truth.

See you in Canton.