ESPN's Ryan Clark Getting Suckered Into Declaring Mahomes the GOAT is the Cutest Thing Ever

George Gojkovich. Getty Images.

One of these days I'm going to get around to creating that Patriots Haters Hall of Fame I've been talking about for years. And not just a virtual one. I'm going to invest my life savings into an actual brick and mortar museum that New England families and school field trips can visit so that future generations will appreciate not just the greatness of the 21st century's preeminent Dynasty, but how much its very existence triggered Patriot Derangement Syndrome throughout the land. 

And when that first class of HOFers is inducted, there will be a disproportionate number of Steelers in the mix. Of that I can guarantee you. There was just something about going 3-11 against Tom Brady and Bill Belichick (a win in 2008 was vs. Matt Cassel), including 0-3 in the postseason that was bitter dregs in the collective mouth of the NFL's previously most successful franchise. And chief among the Pittsburgh stars that will be immortalized in the PHHoF will be Ryan Clark of ESPN. 

Few, if any, ex-players have ever been as salty about the Patriots in general and Brady in particular as Clark has. So it wasn't the least bit surprising to see him jump to declare Patrick Mahomes last night, in a Tweet that through some miracle he still hasn't taken down. But here's a screencap since he probably will:

Which is par for the course for him and many others who were reduced to ashes by the One True GOAT. Where this achieves blog-worthiness is that Clark declared this after seeing Mahomes' career Super Bowl passing stats:

So impressive that if you showed them to anyone - a former NFL player, a reindeer herder from Lapland, the member of a tribe on an isolated South Pacific island, a Klingon - they'd assume they came from the best ever to play the position. And they'd be 100% correct. 

The pisser is these aren't Mahomes' numbers; they all belong to Brady. The first and third ones (for some reason) were Brady's against Carolina in the 2003 Super Bowl. The second is against Philly in 2017, and the last is from the 28-3 comeback against Atlanta. 

So one of the great Patriots haters of our times was so anxious to crown someone other than Brady, he played himself. And it's glorious.

The thing is, Clark is merely one of the first. A snowball rolling down the mountain that's going to trigger the "Mahomes is now the best ever" conversational avalanche to come in the days, weeks and months ahead. Sports talk can't survive without superlatives. It's the oxygen the whole format lives on. And we're already seeing the first stages of the "Lebron or Jordan?" insanity to come:

But I'll have none of it. Say Mahomes is great, and you'll get no argument from me. State that we've never seen anyone with his style of play, and I'll agree with you. Point out how impressive his resume is, and you're preaching to the choir. Claim he's better than Brady and mister, you're walkin' on the fightin' side of me. 

For one simple reason. Whatever Mahomes' career totals end up being - and at 28 years old he has plenty of time to accumulate rings - there is one thing he will never, ever be able to do. Beat Brady when it matters most:

2018 AFC championship game at Kansas City: Patriots 37, Chiefs 31

Mahomes: 16 for 31, 51.6%, 295 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, 117.0 passer rating, 4 sacks for 46 yards

Brady: 30 for 46, 65.2%, 348 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs, 77.1 passer rating, 0 sacks

Super Bowl LV: Buccaneers 31, Chiefs 9

Mahomes: 26 for 49, 53.0%, 270 yards, 0 TDs, 2 INTs, 52.3 passer rating, 3 sacks for 27 yards

Brady: 21 for 29, 72.4%, 201 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, 125.8 passer rating, 1 sack for 6 yards

Even if you want to use those numbers from the championship game to claim these matchups are somehow a wash, just be sure and include the fact Brady carved KC up for 180 passing yards in the 4th quarter and overtime alone, with 10 completions of 10 yards or more. And that in the only possession in OT, he converted THREE 3rd & 10s. 

The fact is that no matter how much you resent Brady and wish to place Mahomes upon the GOAT throne, you can't. Not now. Not ever. This will forever be the tiebreaker between the two. And unless Brady comes out of retirement Apollo Creed-style (RIP) or someone bends spacetime to send the challenger back to give him another shot at the king, this argument is permanently moot. 

Feel free to keep trying though. This is the easiest debate topic of all time.