Star Trek's Wil Wheaton is TRIGGERED by Larry David Fake-Assaulting Elmo on 'The Today Show'

If you're one of those people who gets up in the morning, showers, gets dressed and earns a living each day - and I'm assuming that's practically all of us - you weren't watching when Larry David did this bit on The Today Show. The one Chris Klemmer posted about:

Perfectly on brand for the Larry David character he created and has perfected over the last 30 years or so. The misanthrope who is perpetually aggravated by everyone and everything around him. And sitting back stage at NBC, waiting to go on for his interview, he had to listen to his exact polar opposite, relentlessly upbeat puppet giving messages of positivity in his signature high-pitched falsetto. So Larry saw the opportunity for a bit of improv where he reacts the way Larry David the fictional character would, and try to shut the cloying, insufferable little bastard up. And did what he's on TV to do, which is create comedy. 

Then a few hours later, doubled down on the joke with Seth Myers. Who to his credit understands how to be a good straight man, and served up a batting practice fastball and let David put it in the upper deck:

"And you know what? I would do it again!" Fucking hilarious. Everyone involved in the gag played along. Hilarity ensued. Laughs all around. No highly merchandised plush toys were harmed in the filming of this morning show. And a good time was had by all. 

OK, not all exactly. There was at least one notable exception. Who deemed it necessary to take to the socials to say how Larry David's improve was not only NOT funny, it was downright harmful. To children everywhere. As well as some middle aged men. Namely, Star Trek: The Next Generation's Wil Wheaton:

David Livingston. Getty Images.

And Family Guy:

Wil Wheaton is having none of Larry David's tomfoolery. Nor does he have time for his poppycock. And as far as Wheaton is concerned, there's no place on television for such hullabaloo:

That's a long post. And if it's too hard to read, I apologize. But rather just copy & paste the whole thing and make it tl;dr, I'll hit the main points:

Holy shit it's even worse than I thought. What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Elmo is, like, the best friend to multiple generations of children. In the Sesame Street universe, ELMO IS A CHILD, who is currently putting mental health and caring for others in the spotlight.

And Larry Fucking David … did … that? And thought it was going to be … funny? What? 

What an asshole. What a stupid, self-centered, tone deaf asshole.

The reasons he gives for his anger is that his father used to treat him in very much the same way. And watching David do it to Elmo brought those experiences back to the to point "my heart is pounding right now." And he points out Elmo was there promoting "empathy, love, kindness and caring for each other" in a segment that David (my word, not his) hijacked. Before he goes back on the personal attacks:

Larry David was there to promote the final (thank god, maybe he'll go away now) season of a television series.

Like, read the room, dickhead. It isn’t always about you being the center of attention. And understand what’s happening in the moment, fuck. Understand that there are larger things in the world than you and your garbage ego.

OK, that's a lot to unpack. And I'm going to tread lightly for a few reasons. The simplest of which is I like Wil Wheaton. At least his celebrity persona; of course I know nothing about him as a person. He features prominently in a documentary directed by Alex Winter (Bill & Ted) about growing up famous called Showbiz Kids. Which I highly recommend. Watch it and you'll thank your parents for their lack of interest in your life beyond normal kid funtivities. For not dragging you around to casting agents and auditions and forcing you to dance like a monkey, chasing fame and money. Which doesn't have as good a track record for long term mental health that an ordinary, boring  childhood does.

Second, and more importantly, it's not for me to say what he's going through. Any child abuse I endured was limited to my mom turning on The Lawrence Welk Show when my grandmother and my special needs uncle visited. If Wheaton says watching a comedian jokingly pretend to smack around a wholesome kid's toy sparks PTSD in him, even at the age of 51, it's no one's place to tell him he's wrong. 

With all that said, Wheaton doesn't do himself any favors here. 

With all due respect, two can play that "What the fuck is wrong with that guy?" game. First of all, not a day goes by without every adult in the world seeing something that offends them. Often involving someone or something that is important to them. Even sacred. Just as one example, the faith I belong is a big, slow moving target that takes flak all day, every day. But everyone has their own. 

But it's on every one of us to pick our battles. And the first question you need to ask yourself before getting super offended is what the intent was. Does any reasonable person knowing who Larry David is and watching him do that schtick really think he was going for saying child abuse is funny? Or was the gag that Larry is a crumudgeon and Elmo is preternaturally cheery to the point he couldn't take it?

Like they say, explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog because while you might understand it, you'll still end up killing it. The point is, you have to work really hard to think what David did was the former, and not the latter. The joke isn't on abuse victims; it's on Larry David for being a jerk. That's been the point of every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. And it's what makes it one of the great comedies of all time. 

Lastly though, Wheaton loses whatever moral high ground he might have thought he had as soon as he went all ad hominem. It's a little hard … let's make that impossible, to talk about "empathy, love, kindness and caring for each other" in the middle of a screed where you call another man "a stupid, self-centered, tone deaf asshole" and a "dickhead" with a "garbage ego" while praying that he goes away now. 

Again, we can all empathize with someone who was maltreated by their parents when they were little. But not everything needs to be seen through the prism of everyone else's trauma. Sometimes a funny person just finds themselves on a boring, vanilla network talk show and decides to make comedy out of it like it's his job. Because it is. So you need to take it in the spirit in which it's intended. Life is much easier and more enjoyable that way.

If any good comes out of this, it's that you just know it's going to be worked into a extra bonus episode of the final season of Curb.