Somebody Please Do A Wellness Check On This Poor Guy. BONUS - Best Male Break Up Songs

This dropped on Tuesday randomly on twitter and is one of those things that makes you laugh out loud to yourself at first, before you catch yourself and remember when you felt like this poor fella.  

Breaking up with a girl is the worst. (It's not actually the worst. Having to put your dog to sleep, or losing a family member or friend is the worst, but breaking up is up there.) Getting cheated on is the absolute fucking worst. Watching your girl move on with the guy she cheated with, getting pregnant and engaged 5 months later, might drive you to want to kill yourself (so I've heard) but time eventually heals a broken heart. 

That's what somebody needs to tell this guy. 

I think the grace period should be 3 days. 

3 days you get to beat the shit out of yourself, and feel sorry for yourself, and blast "Marvin's Room" through your Kicker 12's in the trunk of your Honda Accord so that they can hear it in the next time zone. Then you gotta suck it up and move on. Dust yourself off and get back out there. Life's too short. 

p.s. - "Marvin's Room" is such a solid male breakup song. Not sure this video would have been so good/funny with any other song. 

BONUS - Off the top of my head here's what I got for best male breakup songs. Let me know what was missed in the comment section. Maybe I'll put together a playlist.

#9- Willie Nelson - Always On My Mind

The best. Stands the test of time.

(Sidebar - there's an incredible mashup of this song with U2's with or without you from like 20 years ago I'm still in love with)

#8 - Drake - Marvin's Room

Can't make this list based on this blog and not include the title track.

#7- Lewis Capaldi - Strangers

I just heard this one this week and it struck me like a bolt of lightening. I was never drinking the Lewis Capaldi kool-aid like so many people these past few years. But this one brought me around. Man can this guy write songs and man can he belt them out. Beautiful.

(7B - Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved)

#6- Coldplay - The Scientist

Man. Nothing really to say here. Just a beautiful song over beautiful piano that cuts right to the heart.

#5- Boyz II Men - End Of The Road

I never got why they played this song at graduation parties and going away stuff. If you listen to the lyrics they're fucking heartbreaking. All about a love that's run its course. A tale most of us know all too well. It sucks.

(5B - Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry)

God these guys were SO SO SO good. 

#4- Ne-Yo - Go On Girl

Again, getting cheated on is the absolute fucking worst. And usually the hardest thing to get over because you end with all this trauma and psychological scarring that takes tons and tons of serious work to get through. Fun stuff. Ne-Yo is just the best and nailed this one.

#3- Justin Bieber - Love Yourself

This ones for when you start to come out of the dark black soulless hole you dug yourself into and start to have a gimmer of optimism. You stop focussing solely on just all the good times and moments you had and start thinking about what a cold heart bitch she was and how absolutely none of your friends or family could stand her. 

#2- Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River

Same thing I wrote for the Ne-Yo song.

(Sidebar- the 50 Cent Remix is unreal)

#1 - Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

This one will bring the most macho of men to their knees. It will fucking break you like Ivan Drago. So perfectly written. So perfewctlt stated. So perfectly sung. Bruno right through the heart on this one.

Honorable Mention - 

Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine

Adele - Someone Like You

Passenger - Let Her Go

Chris Stapleton - Cold 

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars 

Beyonce - Irreplaceable (Same vein as Beiber - Love Yourself)

John Mayer - Dreaming WIth A Broken Heart 

Bonnie Rait - I Can't Make You Love Me

Taylor Swift - All Too Well

Post Malone - Fall Apart

Usher - Burn

The Supremes - Someday We'll Be Together

Nothing better than Motown. Nothing.

The 1975 - About You

The Beatles - Yesterday

Jay-Z - Song Cry