Jason Kelce Has His Next Career Lined Up Already, Wants To Bring Back The Backyard Sports Video Games
As an Eagles fan, I desperately want Jason Kelce to come back every single year until his body literally falls apart on the field. I know that's selfish of us, but I can't even remember a world where Jason Kelce isn't leading this offensive line. I'm sure Cam Jurgens will be great eventually, but I'd rather never have to find out.
As a human being, however...well maybe Jason Kelce retiring could end up being the greatest thing to happen to society. Because if this man stops playing football and devotes his life to bringing back Backyard Baseball and Backyard Football? Well then maybe there's a chance we can get the world back on course.
Just think about how great life was Pablo Sanchez and Dante Robinson were the most dominant athletes in the world. When Kenny Kawaguchi was a household name.
It's no coincidence the world has gone to shit ever since those games went away. Maybe if kids these days would stop doom scrolling on TikTok and Instagram, and playing Backyard Baseball instead, we'd have reason to hope for the future generations. Jason Kelce already did his part on saving Philadelphia and bringing a Super Bowl to this city. Now it's time to let him fly and save the world.
CUE THE MUSIC!