This is a big ass blog.
Old news to some, but I just stumbled across this story from TMZ.
No if, ands, or butts about it… This Panamanian model has “GYATT!” a point.
(Jesus)
Normally I don’t side with women who seem dumb enough to hide their own Easter eggs, but in this case, it stands to reason that in a society that worships girls with big asses, girls with big asses need to be able to travel seamlessly to places where they can be worshipped.
Now I know what you’re thinking… “Large, there are big butts and there are bigger butts, but this girl has an ass that casts a 15-pound shadow." And I can’t disagree with you. But if we are going to continue putting these enormous turd cutters on a podium, we’re going to have to provide a podium that accommodates “dat ass.”
So get it together, commercial airlines, and provide some concessions for these bottom-heavy queens.
In the meantime, let me provide some one-liners for guys that get horny when they see the crack of dawn, much less the crack of Gracie Bon…
“Honey, I know you’ve been cocked more than John Wayne’s rifle, but I still want to be a burglar and smash your back door in."
“Hey!… That’s a nice butt… What time does it open?”
“Grrrrrrl… That ass is so big I wanna take you to the beach and rent you out as shade.”
“Baby, you into astrology?… Cause I’m fixin’ to ‘Clapricorn’ those cheeks!”
“Propaganda?… Let’s take a propa ganda at dat ass!”
“Imma call you ‘Sneeze’ because that gazoon is TIGHT!”
“Your ass will look like a clock once I put my face and two hands on it.”
“That onion could bring a tear to a glass eye.”
“Ass so big she gotta sit down in shifts.”
"Sweetheart, you could make a statue flinch with those cheeks that are softer than elevator music."
“Hoping you’re like a fine French restaurant… All deliveries in the rear!”
“China or Japan?… Because I’m China get into Japanties.”
And finally…
“Girl, I’m gonna bury my dick so deep in your ass that the person who pulls me out will be crowned King Arthur.”
Good night, Gracie.
Take a report.
-Large
This whole blog was written 'tongue-in-cheeks'… I don't really support travel accommodations for wide loads because my own oversized frame has never been given accommodation… To be honest, the whole thing depresses me.
TAR
-L