Our Very Own Will Compton Is One Of Those Assholes Still Jumping Into The Aisle As Soon As The Plane Lands To Rush The Front Like There's No Order

I can’t believe we’re back here again. Discussing something so elementary yet so controversial. the concept of exiting an airplane in an orderly fashion. 

it’s crazy that something like this requires a discussion on its etiquette but it does. 

I saw Will Compton included in the tweet above yesterday, calling him a beta, which I would never make the mistake of doing, for standing up in what appears to be the aisle of the Southwest flight upon landing. (Shout out for flying Southwest like us common men to Will)

Now here’s the thing, and major asterisk on this entire thing from the video, at first it appears Will was in the aisle, but if somebody pointed out to me, he’s standing in front of his seat now for his look it looks like he’s in the aisle and upon the replay it looks like he’s half in the aisle half in front of his seat. 

If in fact, Will is standing in front of his seat consider entire blog null and void and all my tweets yesterday also don’t count. That one’s on me, but they are now void now if thats the case. 

But let’s consider if Will is in fact, more in the aisle than he is in front of his seat. This is straight-up barbaric behavior and I don’t want to hear anybody tell me they deserve to stretch their legs because they’re tall. I am 6'2" in nice shoes, and I don’t need to stretch my legs. I fly a lot sometimes every week so I feel like I’m in a decent position to observe and study this on a regular basis. Now that said you can almost always point out the people on a flight when they board and decide if they are one of those people who’s going to stand up as soon as they can and make their way to the front of the plane like they have somewhere to be in places to go more important than you and everybody else.

Like this guy in the fishing vest with the Girl Scout patches all over it? For sure the second he boarded the plane you knew he was an aisle rusher.

And then there are those of us who don’t. Those of us who respect order and rules like civilized human beings. This isn’t Nam Donnie.

Now back to those people, why do they do this? 

I’ll never understand it as we pointed out last year during the grievances draft with Mr. Portnoy. It’s more than evident that these people are animals, and as Mr. Portnoy said, not me, but Mr. Portnoy, "these people deserve the death penalty."

The whole blog is here.

While I agree with Mr. Portnoy that aisle standers are horrible, selfish, self-centered, sub-humans. I disagree that they need the death penalty. Like my lovely city's Mayor and State's Attorney, I believe they can be reformed. 

Chief pointed out something so egregious, and truthful, on the snake draft, that I can’t help but look for it almost every flight now, and it’s the people who rush off the plane like assholes from the back and then stand around the gate area, staring at their phones or waiting by the baggage claim area half an hour later with everybody else from the flight. 

(Sidebar - wild that this Grievances Draft is now like 2 years old, and it's still one of the funniest things on youtube anytime I watch it. Mr. Portnoy is a treasure in every sense of the word.)

Now I don’t want this all to come off like one of those things where you have to go to the bathroom wicked bad, to the point you’re gonna have diarrhea everywhere up and down the aisle like that poor lady did a few months ago, and you're too afraid to rush off the plane and go because you don’t wanna look like an asshole described here. 

Obviously, there are exceptions to this and explosive diarrhea is at the top of that list. An exception isn’t "I am tall and I need to stretch".  You just flew 2+ hours, sitting down an extra 10 or 15 minutes isn’t gonna kill you 

The correct way to exit is just like getting communion in church. Front row to the back of the church, inside part of the pew to the outside. Not everybody on the inside of the pew get out into the aisle at once to stretch out or even worse, head to the front and cut other people off. 

The best deplaning I’ve ever seen is whenever I fly in Europe they load and unload the planes from the front and back not just the front. It starts with the first and last row getting up while everybody else stays seated and the exiting meets in the middle on both ends, and it takes minutes, because everybody knows the drill here without fail. 

Here though? The lower budget the airline, the bigger the shit show when you land. Guaranteed. Book it.

Feel free to embrace healthy debate below in the comments.

p.s. - for reference, this is how the chips fell. 

Feitelberg, obviously sees nothing wrong with this behavior. He's definitely one of those guys who leaves his shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot

Will, who I respect for many things, being the best-looking guy at this company being one of them, called me a "Karen".