Deandre Ayton Is Missing Tonight's Game - Not Because He's Hurt. He's Simply Stuck In His House And Can't Leave Because Of Icy Roads (Seriously)

I love the thought of the Blazers coaching staff and front office frantically searching the locker room for Ayton only to send out a rescue mission. Obviously that failed. Apparently they couldn't even get to Ayton's house, which I gotta say, incredible way to tank without 'tanking' wink, wink. I know it snowed and ice is everywhere in Portland, but come on, this is the NBA. You're telling me someone couldn't get to Ayton's house? 

Personally, this is the dream. Well, sure, the dream is being in the NBA and making millions of dollars. But besides that it's missing a day of work because of a snow day. Not that I would ever do that here at Barstool. We blog through it all. Plus, my commute includes stairs from my bedroom, a stop in the kitchen for coffee and then my office. No excuses here. But for people with 'regular' jobs, there's nothing sweeter than waking up and seeing an email saying to stay home for the good of your health. 

You know what? Back in my day this wouldn't have happened. MJ wasn't going to miss a game because of ice. He'd rent a snowmobile and get there. Missing a game for golf or other reasons? Perhaps, some may say even a season or so. But you think one of the bigs from back in the day wouldn't walk to the game? The Oakley's, Mason's, LJ's, Hakeem's, etc of the world? They'd be there. Feels good to say that finally. I was wondering when I'd get a chance to truly sound like everyone on Twitter. 

I'll say this too. It's kinda bullshit to expect Deandre Ayton to know how to handle snow. Dude has been in Arizona since he was 16 and was in California and the Bahamas before that. 25 years of being warm and cozy. You don't just walk into Portland and know how to get out of your house when it's cold and icy. Really that's on the Blazers. A real front office would have had a team sleepover at a house that was easy to get out of and you wouldn't have this problem. Plus as we learned from Will Compton in Surviving Barstool there's simply nothing better than being in the barracks with the boys. This is how you end up with the number 1 pick, fellas.