Tough Weekend: The Browns Got Destroyed In The Playoffs, Have To Send Their 1st Round Pick To The Team That Beat Them, And Then Had To Watch Baker Mayfield Dominate A Playoff Game

Well fuck. What a terrible weekend to be from Cleveland, Ohio. And please hold the "Every weekend is a terrible weekend to be from Cleveland, Ohio" jokes. I don't need them today. Because honestly, all of the other chirps I'm seeing on the Internet are very fair. We "traded three 1st round draft picks for a constantly injured and underperforming sexual predator, just to watch the guy we forced out of town lead his new team to the playoffs and throw for 337 yards and 3 touchdowns on national television". Yes, yes we did. And it fucking sucks.

Let's address the issues in order of how much they hurt:

1. The Browns got fucked WAXED in the playoffs.

Looking back on it, I guess it was silly for me to think that without QB1, RB1, OL12345, etc etc that we could actually make a run at the Super Bowl. I mean, even when we finally found a KICKER, he had to miss the playoff game with an injury. This team was simply too injured to win it all, but that doesn't mean for one second that I / we didn't think the Browns were beating the Texans. That's why this one hurts. Joe Flacco looked ELITE for the last month and a half, and then the clock struck midnight on national television in front of the entire country, as he threw back-to-back Pick 6s to end our season. And it's not like the loss is on Joe Flacco, but my god was I excited to watch him take this team into Baltimore this week. I know the saying sucks, but it literally would've been a movie.

By the way, has anyone seen or heard from Myles Garrett lately......?

2. The Browns have to send their 1st round pick to the Texans, who just WAXED us in the playoffs.

I know hindsight is 20/20, but I'm pretty sure the foresight was 20/20 from the large majority of people grading this trade as a big fat F- when the Browns made it:

And I'm not even saying I despise the trade. If he was going to be a Top 5 QB in the league, I'll give up whatever you want. But what stings is that, for one, the Texans didn't even want him. We traded three 1st rounders and five picks overall to a team that was trying to get rid of this guy. Ouch. Second, we knew he had baggage. And that's an understatement. Immediately we became a hated franchise and a fanbase that was forced to defend ourselves for cheering for our team. And third, with both of those things in mind, it we chose to guarantee him his entire $230,000,000 contract. He won't get hurt, right? Except for literally every single game.

So yes, it hurts that we lost, but it fucking stings that the team that beat us is taking our 1st round pick to do so.
3. Clevelanders had to watch Baker Mayfield dominate the Eagles last night, taking the Bucs to the next round of the playoffs. 

I don't know why, but this one by far hurts the most. Actually, I do know why. Because we sold our souls to bring in Deshaun Watson, and every single person involved knows that Baker Mayfield got the raw end of the deal because of it. He turned the entire franchise around. He embraced the city. He was the city. And he's the coolest motherfucker to win with on the planet. I mean, the dude is out here ripping smelling salts:

…..and covertly squirting people with water bottles:

My god I love this motherfucker. And all he did was turn our franchise around from 1-15 and 0-16 to going into our rivals stadium and beating the Steelers in the playoffs. …….why did we get rid of him again?

So yes, watching him have a blast while kicking the shit out of the Eagles on the playoff stage actually did hurt me more than losing ourselves. It showed me what we had and what could have been. Instead, we have "an injured sexual predator QB that we have to pay $230,000,000 to sit out", all while giving up our draft picks to do so.

What a weekend. At least we can't do it again til next year?