Dak Prescott Buying Louis Vuitton Stuff To Remind Him The Super Bowl Is In Las Vegas Is How We Should Know He's Destined To Always Choke

All the talk this year has been about how bad quarterback play has been with a million backups. But, we should be talking about how we are seeing some of the corniest quarterbacks of all time. We know about Russ Wilson, we got Jalen Hurts writing poems and now we can add Dak to the list. This is the moment that we all should have realized that Dak and the Cowboys will be life-long losers. 

This isn't some bullshit to fire you up or use as motivation that we hear athletes use all the time. This is being rich, buying a bunch of Louis Vuitton stuff and claiming it's to remind you the Super Bowl is in Vegas. LV = LV, get it? You can't possibly get lamer than this. You'd think just seeing the Cowboys choke every year would be enough of a reminder. You'd think that everyone is saying you can't win in the playoffs would be enough a reminder. I legit had to check multiple times that this was a real quote and not The Athletic Plus. That's how corny this is. 

Hey, at least Dak put up some pointless stats after quite literally throwing the game away! I know it's not all his fault. The defense was dogshit. But they aren't out here before the game talking about Louis Vuitton, they are just disgracing one of the best linebackers we've ever seen. 

Wonder who Parsons will cheer for if the Eagles lose tonight now? Must be tough not to say he wants someone to win for his division. Anyways, congrats Cowboys fans. You'll always have the regular season. Nobody can take away those from you. Just know that you'll never win in the playoffs again unless a miracle happens. 30 years ain't a fluke, it's just who you are. Oh and ask for Dak? 

No shit. Everyone is saying you can't win in the playoffs. It's why you see Cowboys fans ready to move on from you. They don't want to pay you like a superstar to have games like yesterday. Good thing the Cowboys have an owner who is hands off and won't make any rash decisions. Consider your job safe.