Cleveland: CJ Stroud And Houston Are A Fucking PROBLEM

Fair chirp.

Listen, they beat us every which way today. Whooped our ass in all aspects of the football game. There's no other way to put it, and there's no excuses to be made, whether the refs missed a horrible pass interference call back when the game was still in question or not. One pass interference was not going to change the outcome of this game. I mean, CJ Stroud was flat out PHENOMENAL.

And the crazy thing is that if CJ Stroud didn't even take the field today, the Browns still wouldn't have won. In fact, if the Texans offense never set foot on the turf, the Browns STILL wouldn't have won. Because although the Texans scored 4 offensive touchdowns, their defense also scored two more...matching our entire offense's point total, courtesy of Joe Flacco's back-to-back Pick 6s.

Remember when it was 7-3 Browns? Then it turned 24-14 in the blink of an eye, before Flacco started giving out Pick 6s like Oprah gives out free cars to make it 45-14. You get a Pick 6! You get a Pick 6! Well, Flacco Fever was fun while it lasted….but I am officially cured.

Turns out Joe Flacco may have been sitting at home on his couch a month ago for a reason. I mean, there's no denying that he was a huge upgrade for our offense and that he carried the Browns to the playoffs on his own back, but at some point, water always finds its level. Joe Flacco is Joe Flacco. And the Browns is the Browns. And listen, Joe Flacco will always have a special place in my heart, but I think it's safe to say there’s not a QB controversy heading into next season.  Joe Flacco will be retiring. Actually, Joe Flacco needed to retire at the end of the 3rd quarter. Either that or earlier in the game where they 360 spun on his ass.

Thank you for your service Joe, but your time is clearly over. I cannot do a summer of Flacco or Watson on sports talk radio. We cannot possibly do that, right?

Either way, thank you to the Browns for a fun year. But my god, what a horrible ending. And now my long weekend is ruined. My birthday weekend is ruined! And I'm not going to sit here and listen to the injury argument either. I get it. We were on our 4th QB and basically our 10th stringers across the board. But don't let any Browns fans lie to you. We thought this team was going to win today. Vegas said we were supposed to win today. And Joe Flacco was undefeated in the Wild Card round. Only the Browns can ruin a stat like that….

I fucking hate sports. Ohio State is an embarrassment. The Browns were an embarrassment today. We are on to…..I don't even know. All of my teams suck.

**I'm officially rooting for Ohio State's own CJ Stroud for the rest of the postseason. Houston's Tate is now in full force. Or should it be Texans Tate? Either way, let's see if he can finally win a championship for me. He cost me the last two years.