Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Couches Burning, Everyone In Ann Arbor Singing The Everliving Shit Out Of Mr. Brightside - Your Michigan National Title Celebration Roundup Blog

Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly jealous of Michigan. I'd do a lot of things to see Kentucky win one, just one, football title in my lifetime. I'd prefer it to be while I'm still young enough to enjoy a night out while being in pain for a week after. But I just want one. But I'm also incredibly jealous that Michigan took over Mr. Brightside. It's such a great song. Everyone loves Mr. Brightside, name one person who doesn't. If you say you don't I just assume you're trying too hard to be a contrarian. You hear it, you sing along. Actually you just belt out the lyrics to that bad boy. 

That video of them in the street singing it? That's as cool as it gets. That's your go-to song and you have guys in wrestling masks and maize and blue everywhere. Hell I was waiting for the balcony to start bouncing up and down from people going nuts. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a house full of kids still three sheets to the wind screaming the lyrics to this while watching highlights. One of my favorite memories of being in Vegas was back in 2011 Sweet 16 when Arizona beat Duke. The next morning went to leave the hotel and there were 4 Arizona fans shit faced in the sportsbook watching a replay like it was live. Guys just living as dudes. 

Naturally we got some couches burning

Still don't understand that move. Maybe it's because I was poor as shit in college, but I'm not sacrificing a couch. Hell my house got robbed (twice) junior year in Lexington. You know how much it sucked to have to get new shit? I'm not doing that for a couch. You live on a couch in college. Memories are made on couches in college. You gotta convince someone else to sacrifice their couch, even after a title. 

Rookie move not to grease the poles 

Perhaps even dumber than setting a couch on fire? Driving. Why attempt to drive through this? 

Call me soft but I'm playing it safe. I'm locking my car up and maybe hiding it in a different city for the night. You can't take any risks here. 

We somehow got a rock on fire

It's been a long time coming. Michigan split that title in 1997 back when we relied on voters to declare who won the season. How dumb was that? The fact I lived more than a decade of my life without a true title game is insane. It was the only sport that came down to a vote. College kids and Michigan fans everywhere should be going nuts. You had a year where everyone wanted to call you cheaters and it didn't matter. 

Our own leader decided to make a couple of special calls 

We even had players taking chairs. Gotta get your hands on whatever you can get.

I don't get why people are saying act like you've been there before. Michigan hasn't! These kids weren't alive when back in 97. They don't know what it's like to win a title. You had some lows with the Michigan program, especially as a historical program. It doesn't matter now. You got a title. That's all you have to say. I can only imagine being in college and seeing your team wins a title is a top-1 night of your life.