Dumping Them Out: 2024 Ins & Outs

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. The first regular episode of 2024 (last weekend was the New Year's Spectacular). I said in the New Year's Spectacular that one of my resolutions is to find a new source of Boob GIFs. I'm not exactly sure where that's gonna be. Idk what I'm really going to do other than  Google 'Hot Girl Bikini GIF's", but I'm going to try my best. Eventually I'm gonna have to start making my own. I'm not even sure if that's legal tbh. 

I saw a TikTok the other day of a man listing the new 'Ins & Out' of 2024. It had a ridiculous amount of views. So I'm stealing that idea and using it as a format to air some personal grievances and eat up 800+ words.

In: Calling people out for having too many items in the self-checkout line

The Shop Rite in Jersey City is out of control. There's no actual sign that says you can only have a certain number of items in the self checkout, but have some common courtesy people. Especially if you stole one of the extra big shopping carts from the BJ's Wholesale next door, just so you can pack it full of nearly 100 items. If you have that cart in the self checkout line you should be banned from Shop Rite. If you can't check yourself out in less than 2 minutes, get in the regular line.

Out: Curling weights directly in front of the dumb bell rack at the gym

I don't know how that ever became a thing. People will just walk up to the rack, pick a couple 20's, then start ripping curls right in front of the rack. They block an entire section of weights from anybody else who might need to grab them. Just take the weights to an empty spot in the gym.

Also, taking two machines at the same time while the gym is packed is out too. If you're on the squat rack, you don't also get the cables on the other side of the gym. Especially at the start of the year. There are a thousand people in the gym right now. When it's that packed you get one machine at a time. It drives me crazy the way some people behave at the gym. There's one person at my gym in particular who I might come to blows with.

In: Blogging 

There's a whole lot of hubbub around "streams" and "video content" and people who are "entertaining on camera". But word on streets is that blogging is the next big thing. Reading is coming back in a big way this year.

Out: TikTok

Blogs in. TikToks Out. TikTok is too powerful. There are too many people on it. I should be making them myself, but I'm beyond terrible at them. I get a shockingly low number of views for someone who works at Barstool. My life would be a lot easier if TikTok didn't exist. We need some sort of bombshell , "China is using our information gathered from TikTok to deplete our bank accounts" type of news to drop. It's going to have to be something drastic if we want it to die.

The only person who can stay is that Madden streamer named Sketch. He's my favorite person on the internet right now and I don't know what I'd do without him.

In: Deleting Tweets

I'm a big proponent of deleting tweets. I've never been above it. "You pussy John, were you embarrassed by how few likes you got?" Yes, that's exactly it. I don't want to see that shit on my timeline either. Not with my name attached.

Out: Veterinarians 

They can't keep getting away with it. They have pet owners completely by the balls. They can just make up anything they want and charge us whatever price they feel like because they know we love our pets and are going to pay them regardless. I don't know how were going to combat this, because there isn't really an alternative option other than tell your dog to suck it up. I know as soon as my dog gets sick again I'm going to cave instantly. But I have a very bad taste in my mouth because my dog was having bladder problems the other week, I took him to the vet and they charged $350 to run some tests (which came up with nothing) and tell me I can put a diaper on him if I want. It's such a racket.

In: Watching The Barstool Sports Rundown

Barstool's flagship program that I personally built into what it is today. It's a fantastic daily internet show that's poised to have a huge year. Be sure to hop on this trend early and often.

Out: Barstool Sports Chicago Office

Although Barstool Chicago's new multi-million dollar office got off to a hot start with Jersey Jerry's hole-in-one stream setting the internet on fire. Grabbing the attention of people like Brooks Koepka, J.J. Watt, and Tom Brady. Many people are saying that Chicago has peaked and that Barstool New York will be outperforming them in every area in 2024. 

In: Walking Tacos

I just remembered walking tacos yesterday. If your unfamiliar, a walking taco is when you take a small bag of Doritos (or Fritos, or chip of your choice), crunch them all up, the fill the bad with ground beef, cheese, lettuce, whatever you want. Then eat it straight out of the bag with a fork. They're convenient and delicious. I need those to make a comeback. 

Shutterstock Images.

P.S. I just bought all the ingredients. Made beef and cheese nachos with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and ate it off a plate. It's not the same without the small bag. You gotta have the small bags to eat it out of. Sweet Chili isn't the play either. I tried to get cute with the flavor. You gotta stick with Cool Ranch, Nacho Cheese, or Fritos.

Out: White Condiments

Get rid of all of them. Ranch, sour cream, mayonnaise, tarter sauce, tzatziki, horseradish, artichoke dip. Anything condiment or condiment adjacent. I'm sure I'm missing some other ones. I'll throw coleslaw in there too. Hollandaise is also trash. Unless it's white queso, I don't want anything white anywhere near my food.