Bald Eagle Killing Conspiracy: Isaiah McKenzie Wants You to Know He DID NOT Kill a Bald Eagle
TMSPN - NFL wide receiver Isaiah McKenzie of the Indianapolis Colts is facing bizarre rumors suggesting his involvement in the death of a bald eagle, leading to a three-game suspension by the team for “conduct detrimental to the team” in the 2023 season’s final stretch.
McKenzie took to X on Monday to vehemently deny these allegations and clarify that he was not involved in any incident related to a bald eagle. The origins of the rumor remain unclear, but it has gained traction on social media, prompting McKenzie to address the situation.
If such an accusation were true, the consequences would be severe, as killing a bald eagle is punishable by a one-year prison term and/or a $100,000 fine. McKenzie had been an active player for the Colts, participating in every game through Week 13, making 11 catches for 82 yards and returning 23 punts for 204 yards.
However, the Colts made the unusual decision to bench him as a healthy scratch for Week 14 before subsequently suspending him for the remainder of the season. The circulating rumor underscores the unpredictable nature of internet-fueled speculations.
I know we've all seen the Danny Boy Canes video, and made this exact same Danny Boy Canes jokes 1000x in our lifetime. But here at Barstool Sports, it's obligatory to post the original Danny Boy Canes video anytime anyone denies something on the internet. The reports that Isaiah McKenzie's December suspension for 'conduct detrimental to the team' being due to bald eagle murder is patently false. It didn't happen and he's sick and tired of hearing about it.
If I could offer Isaiah a piece of advice, I would tell him to go back in time to Monday afternoon and not tweet out, "i did not kill a bald eagle." I understand that's tempting for a man who's being accused of killing a bald eagle, but the fact is that's exactly what a man who killed a bald eagle would say. If you put 100 people in a room, all of whom have unpromptedly claimed that they "never killed a bald eagle", you're going to have at least 20 bald eagle killers in that room. If you have a room full of people who have never denied killing an bald eagle, you'll have 0 eagle murderers.
But it's too late for that. The cat is out of the bag. He is now an eagle murder suspect. Despite the fact that absolutely nobody had heard this rumor. I did a small amount of digging to get the source of it, and it appears to all stem from a comment on a Buffalo Bills Reddit thread about Isaiah Thomas and Troy Brown being suspended for conduct detrimental to the team.
When you scroll down a bit, you'll find this comment with 35 upvotes.
That may not have been the very first comment, and there have since been additional Reddit threads specifically dedicated to accusing Isaiah McKenzie of killing America's best bird. But the rumors appear to have started on December 19th.
Side Note: I've always thought being staunchly anti-bald eagle would be a funny thing to get people riled up about. To take a firm stance against bald eagles and advocate for their eradication. Hire a small plane to fly a banner that reads, "Bald eagles aren't even bald", or "Bald eagles are rapists", or something along those lines. If there's two things people get fired up about on the internet, it's animals and America. If you could kill two birds with one stone (bird #1 being America, bird #2 being a bird) you'd have a solid 99.99% of the country against you. All because in 1782 some slave owners in powdered wigs drunkenly decided that the bald eagle will be a symbol for everything America stands for, and anybody who disagrees will be dragged through the streets. Bald eagles haven't even been been endangered since 2007. So why do Bald Eagles get all this… ok nvm I'm not going to do it. I actually love bald eagles and America. Always have.
Back to the story at hand. Quickly after I searched the source of the "Isaiah McKenzie killed a bald eagle" rumor, I found an article from last summer. Apparently, Colts' safety Rodney Thomas' father is ACTUALLY a no-good, monstrous, America hating, killing machine.
NY Post - Rodney Thomas allegedly killed the eagle with an air rifle in Mount Pleasant, Pa. on May 12, and he turned himself in to the authorities shortly after the incident. The eagle was one of two that nested in the area, and a couple of residents told the Post that people in the area had nicknamed the bird "Sam" after the "Muppets" character.
Why did Rodney Thomas Sr. kill Sam The Eagle? No idea. Maybe he mistook it for one of those worthless birds who don't deserve life, like a turkey or a duck. Maybe it was accidental, like a Dick Cheney situation. Or maybe he thought if you killed a bald eagle and turned it into the authorities you automatically become President of The United States. I can't say for sure. I don't know the guy.
But you have to think this is where the rumor started right? It's a bit of a stretch, but the fact that Isaiah McKenzie is being accused of killing a bald eagle, and the father of one of his current teammates legitimately did kill a bald eagle earlier that year… it feels like that's probably the source. I mean how many bald eagles are killed by people in America on a yearly basis? It can't be much more than one. I don't even know what you'd do with a dead bald eagle. Unless they taste incredible. I suppose having a coat made entirely of bald eagle feathers would be an incredibly rich flex. But again, everybody would fucking hate you for that, so I don't even know where you'd wear it. However, according to another article I found, there is apparently a black market for them.
AP - Two men killed about 3,600 birds, including bald and golden eagles, during a “killing spree” on Montana’s Flathead Indian Reservation and elsewhere, then sold eagle parts on a black market that has been a long-running problem for U.S. wildlife officials, a federal grand jury indictment says.
The men worked with others to hunt and kill the birds, according to the indictment, and in at least one instance used a dead deer to lure in an eagle that was shot. The two defendants conspired with others who weren’t named to sell eagle feathers, tails, wings and other parts for “significant sums of cash” across the United States and elsewhere, the indictment said.
Sorry I'm losing the plot of this blog. The point is, Isaiah… I don't think you killed that bald eagle. I'm nearly certain of your innocence. But you gotta think before you post. You can't just go denying every little thing your accused of on the internet. Now everyone is talking about it. Now the name Isaiah McKenzie will be associated with bald eagle murder for the rest of time. Only thing you can do to erase it is lead the Colts to a Super Bowl, force multiple fumble, intercept Brock Purdy 3 times, and return at least 1 for a touchdown. Then maybe we'll all forget. You should try to do that. Go Colts.
And for the record, nobody seems to know why he was suspended. Which sounds very shady.