Joe Flacco Leads The Cinderella Browns To Their FIFTH Game-Winning Score This Season With Less Than 2 Minutes Remaining
THAT IS NOW FIVE WINS THIS SEASON IN WHICH THE BROWNS SCORED A GAME-WINNER IN THE FINAL TWO MINUTES!!! I know the 1980 Browns won a lot of close games which earned them the Kardiac Kids nickname, so I don't want to take the away from them, but if this isn't the Second Coming then I don't know what is. We are basically on our 10th string offensive line, with essentially 90% of the roster on the injured reserve including our bell cow RB, we're on our 4th QB, and we are still finding ways to win football games. Down 10 heading into the 4th? Who cares! We've got Joe Flacco in Cleveland Browns Stadium.....to quote the great Kevin Garnett, "Anything is possible!!!!"
What a fucking dime. I've got an AFC North divisional race to focus on right now, so I won't spend too much of my attention on this, but we haven't had a QB in 25 years that makes that throw. Not a QB that is worth $2 million, and sure as hell not a QB that makes $230,000,00 (guaranteed). So I don't know what is going to happen in this offseason, but let me say this, I'm so glad that Joe Flacco is our current QB this season. 374 yards today, with TWO HUNDRED AND FUCKING TWELVE of them coming in the 4th quarter. That is the most by any Browns QB in the last 45 seasons. And he looks like he knows the offense just as well, if not better, than any player on our team.
Joe Flacco is our QB. Joe Flacco is a winner.
.....but this is how close he was to being a loser today:
You have to catch that. I don't know that else to say. People will argue that it's a Hail Mary and a very low likelihood of success, but once the play takes form, if the ball hits you that squarely in the hands, you have to catch it. But the Bears couldn't catch it, and the Browns caught a break. And let me say this: I watched this game with some Bears fans, and they kept saying "classic Bears football". Hey dumbfucks, who do you think you are? I've seen your franchise play in the SUPER BOWL in my lifetime. Quit crying about bad luck or tough breaks. You're talking to a Browns fan. We invented ways to lose. You're merely finding one here and there.
Anyways, I think it's safe to say that Kevin Stefanski locked up Coach of the Year today. Joe Flacco is the comeback player of the year. Dustin Hopkins once again showed that Andrew Berry's trade for him was one of the best in league history. The defense stepped the fucked up when we needed them, holding the Bears to 3 pts (since our offense gave up 14). And Myles Garrett has proven for the 14th time this season that if Chris Broussard's cousin didn't pass away, he should've reffed in the NFL.
What the fuck?
And when Myles Garrett says something, the NFL will fine HIM. How about we fine the refs that are either:
A.) Blind
B.) Stupid
C.) Fixing the Games
I would honestly be most okay with A or C, but unfortunately it seems like the answer is most likely B. These dumb fucks penalize Myles Garrett for being big and strong and good, while watching him literally get yanked to the ground by his face mask without any issue.
Anyways, all I have to say about moving forward is that the Ravens better win tonight vs. the Jaguars. The Browns have earned their playoff spot. There's no doubt about that. But sitting at 9-5 with more cupcakes left on their schedule than a bakery would have, I've got my sights set on the AFC North crown and a 1st round HOME GAME (where the Browns are 7-1 and Joe Flacco is like 100000-1). The Ravens better handle their business tonight against the Jags, because I know lord knows they're not running the table at the 49ers, vs the Dolphins, and vs the Steelers. But the Browns are absolutely beating the Texans, Jets, and Bengals.
Don't let the Jaguars win tonight. Or else this Cinderella season that the Browns are having might be extended a couple weeks longer…..