Dumping Them Out: Donald Trump & Ben Mintz

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. This is the earliest I've started a Dumping Them Out in quite some time. I typically like to sleep in until about 11, then put off doing anything productive until about 4pm, spend an hour or so searching for Boob GIFs, then I pat myself on the back for a hard days work on a Sunday. Not a lot of people are as dedicated as I am to their craft. I think I might actually have a legitimate shot of getting my contract renewed for no additional money.

I don't pay much attention to the UFC. Unless I'm actively hanging out with a friend who's a big UFC guy and is going to organize some sort of fight watching event every weekend, I'm never going to keep up with it. But I was loosely paying attention last night (i.e. following on Twitter). That Sean Strickland guy. It must be so awesome to be in a profession where if you fight someone in the crowd, it makes for a good career move. 

I don't know anything about these fighters, other than I see this Strickland guy popping off at press conferences and on social media once every couple of weeks. But I love the idea that if you play your cards right in life, you can get to a point where being a violent psycho furthers your career. I guess you could say that about any UFC fighter, cause they all beat the shit out of each other in the ring. But Strickland takes it so far beyond that. I love the guy. I wonder if he woke up yesterday planning to jump Dricus in the audience, or if that was impulsive. I don't think Sean Strickland has a wife, but I like to imagine him at home getting ready for the fight, talking to her like like… 

"Sorry honey, I wish I could stay home and watch Netflix all night too, but I have to make an appearance at UFC 296 and jump somebody in the audience"

"I understand babe. Are you sure you want to wear your nice white shirt for that?"

"Well if I beat his ass hard enough I want to make sure everyone can see me covered in his blood"

"That makes sense. Well, be safe dear"

"I won't"

Then he takes his hat and trench coat off the hook by his front door, grabs his briefcase, and heads off to work. I like to pretend that's what happened. He's one of the few people in life who have reached a tipping point where the consequences of catching an assault charge are outweighed by the benefits of him going viral for said assault. That rules.

One more thing about UFC last night. If you're that Colby Covington guy, you can't lay an egg like that in front of Trump. I didn't watch the fight, but I'm hearing it wasn't especially close. That's tough man. There were probably a lot of undecided voters you could have won over last night if you had come out on top. Unfortunately, you let the country down Colby. If Biden wins by a few votes, that's on you. 

Another person who's job/existence I spend way too much time thinking about. Ben Mintz. I think about Ben Mintz roughly once per hour. If you follow inside Barstool stuff, then you saw him spoil the final 3 members of Surviving Barstool on Wednesday morning. 

I always think about Mintzy's job in the context of "What does Mintzy bring to Barstool?" He does gambling streams, makes random appearances on shows, goes to football games, attends Phish concerts, writes blogs occasionally, is 2 seasons deep into Wake Up Mintzy, is the face of Ole Miss football, etc. etc. 

But all that is whatever. There are a lot of people who could fit that bill. The number 1 thing Mintzy brings to the company is his ability to fuck up in catastrophic ways.. He's paid to fuck things up. Whenever he does, everybody gets pissed at him. Dave screams at him. Dave screams at everyone who let him go live. People are apologizing all over the place. Minzty is terrified to the point of running away from the office. On the surface that seems bad. But at the same time, Mintzy spoiling Surviving Barstool is quite possibly the hardest I've laughed at Barstool content all year. Nobody else in the world can make that happen. It would never work if we tried to fake it. Only Mintzy has the uncanny ability to sabotage things by genuine accident in the most hilarious possible way. As pissed as Dave was throughout the entire thing, he couldn't go more than a minute at a time without laughing hysterically. He knows it's gold. That's what he's here for. And I know I'm not saying anything new. Everybody knows this. It's just so crazy for me to think about how someone can get to a point in life where fucking up in a major way is kinda the best thing for their career. 

Every time he fucks up, he just gets more popular. His legend grows. I'm sure he gains followers. When Wake Up Mintzy comes back for Season 3, it's going to have more viewers than ever. Good for Mintzy. I love that guy. Let's hope we can get him a "dump button" (I heard that word 1 million times in the last few days) so Mintzy can get back on air. 

(and hopefully we have some sort of dump button malfunction so we can run that whole thing back, and get Wake Up Mintzy to Season 4).