The Satanic Temple Has Now Infiltrated Elementary Schools and There's Nothing Anybody Can Do About It

NY Post - An “After School Satan Club” is slated to start at a Tennessee elementary school — much to the dismay of district leaders who acknowledge they lack legal options to stop the controversial program.

Already active in a handful of states, the program hosted by The Satanic Temple is scheduled to begin at Chimneyrock Elementary School when students return from holiday break.

After School Satan Clubs are the hottest new trend of 2023. The Satanic Temple is growing. The government is bending the knee to the devil, and there's nothing anybody can do about it. 

I blogged a story similar to this earlier this month. And by "similar to this" I mean I blogged the exact same thing earlier this month. Much like this elementary school in Tennessee, a middle school in Pennsylvania was forced to allowed Big Satan inside of their walls after school as well.

As you can imagine, much like people were in Pennsylvania, people in Tennessee are pissed. 

I think I have my finger on the pulse of what's going on here. I'm assuming that The Satanic Temple is a group of people who are fed up with religion being shoved down their throats. However, we live in a country where freedom of religion is a right, so there's nothing they can do to stop it. In order to fight back, they said, "Fuck it, we'll do the same thing. If you're allowed to worship god, we're allowed to worship the other guy."

On some level I respect it. I don't have a dog in this fight, but I can appreciate a petty grudge. I respect a group of people exploiting a loophole of sorts for the sole purpose of sticking it to their enemies. 

The Satan Heads, or Lucifans, or whatever they call themselves will tell you that we've got Satan all wrong. "You don't understand, Satan isn't actually that bad. Satan is the victim of a vicious smear campaign led by God himself. He's actually a pretty cool guy. He represents a metaphorical construct of rejecting tyranny and championing the human mind and spirit."

But you can't just change what Satan represents. Whether you believe in God or not, Satan is pretty clearly defined as a bad dude in the oldest book ever written. He's been a rascal for thousands of years. The Satanic Temple could have named themselves after anything at all. But they just had to name themselves after Satan to stir the pot.

“Members of the satanic temple are not theistic Satanists, so they don’t believe in an actual real Satan,” Everett, the campaign director, told WREG.

“We can take Satan and view Satan as this creature and this character however we want,” she also said. “We don’t have to believe Satan as this evil deity. We can view Satan as we wish and that’s exactly what we do.”

I can't help but think The Satanic Temple is going to attract some less than reputable characters. Imagine having a social outcast of a child. You're constantly encouraging them to make friends, and get involved in after school activities. Then FINALLY one day after school they come home and tell you they've joined a club. You're thrilled for them. You ask them what club their in, and they tell you they've joined the After School Satan club. That can't make you feel awesome as a parent.

The whole thing is fucking stupid. I kinda feel like an easy fix would be to just change the name of your club. Do you really have to attach yourself to the devil? Just call yourself the Anti-Tyranny Club. Or the Thoughtfulness Club. Or The Fun Club. Name it after literally anything other than Satan. I mean, look what the club is actually doing.

Attendance is optional at the after-school club that will offer science projects, community service, puzzles and nature activities.  

Community service? That is unequivocally not what Satan is about. Real Satan heads must be pissed. They're stealing Satan valor. PUZZLES?! FUCKING PUZZLES?! That is the most wholesome activity I can possibly think of. But the name 'After School Satan Cub' is what gets articles written about you. That's how they attract the weird ass kids they're looking for. 

However, to play devil's advocate (swish) maybe The After School Satan club is actually great for society. Maybe the kids who join are already going down a bad path. Then they show up to Satan Club and it's all drawing pictures, and playing freeze tag, and hanging out with puppies. Then all of the sudden, the sketchy outcast kid has a group of friends. He no longer wants the world to burn. Maybe it's a classic bait and switch that's working to perfection.

Who knows… And one more thing. The way this law is described in the article is ridiculous to me.

The district is required to have the Satanic Temple program inside the school because it allows other non-profit entities to use school property after-hours. 

Can the law be that simple? Schools are required to let any non-profit entities to use their property after hours? What about an after school fight club. An after school orgy club. An after school slur club. Is everything fair game? I'm sure it's not that simple. No way The After School Slur Club would fly. Or maybe it will… it is a free country.