All Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles Does Is Win, Takes Home Gold At Pickleball Tournament Over The Weekend
Imagine being some normal, boring ass 40-year-old dude who never won anything worth a damn in your life. And now after all these years, you've found something you're actually half decent at--pickleball. You've been practicing for weeks, months, years, and now you're finally at a point where you are ready to compete in a tournament. You make your way through the early stages, pull off some miraculous wins in the quarterfinals and semifinals, and now you finally have a chance to win something that is meaningful to you.
And then...you find out you're playing against former Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles in the finals. And you get your shit kicked in.
That's gotta be a tough break, but that's life. Some guys in this world are winners, and some guys are just perpetual losers. Nick Foles, and his abnormally large genitalia, is just a winner. And these guys always find a way to win, because that's what they were put on this Earth to do. It doesn't matter if it's a Super Bowl against Tom Brady and the evil empire, or an intermediate amateur pickleball tournament. The guy is going to lay it out on the line every single time, and there's not a single doubt in his mind that he's going to get the job done. Because that's just the Big Dick Nick way.
Now to be fair...I don't care if Nick Foles picked up a paddle for the first time that morning, a former professional athlete probably shouldn't be playing in 3.0 level. There's a good chance your Aunt Dolores is at least a 3.0 rated pickleball player. But maybe there were no openings available in 3.5 or 4.0, and that's the only place they could put him. Is he a sandbagger? Maybe. But the fact of the matter is that Foles is a winner, and I'd take watching him beat up on a bunch of guys who can barely stand on the pickleball court over watching that disaster of a Philadelphia Eagles team right now. We could all use a cleansing of our Philly sports palate with some good news about Nick Foles to forget how abysmal the past 2 weeks of Eagles football have been.
P.S. -- You know that Nick Foles is a banger out there. No way a guy as well-endowed as BDN would ever resort to dinking.