Dumping Them Out: Laterals Work
Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out, your Sunday afternoon (or evening depending on when I get around to writing this) source for nameless Boob GIF's on the internet. Every Sunday I think I've used up all the Boob GIFs the internet has to offer, but every week I prove myself wrong. I have 'hot girl gif 1' all the way through 'hot girl gif 437' saved on my hard drive. If anybody ever goes through my laptop they're going to think I'm the horniest man of all time. But horny in an appropriate way where I only look hot girls dressed in bikinis. Like a horny Mormon or something.
I read an article in the NY Post about a woman who was offered $200K by a stranger for her Doberman puppy. She told him to fuck off. She said there wasn't an amount of money in the world that she would sell her puppy for. But of course (and I hate to do this) that begs the question, how much money would you sell your dog for?
That was trick question. I would like it on the record that I have 2 dogs, and there is no amount of money in the world I would sell them for. Dogs are the same as human children, and should be treated as such.
Now if I were a worse person. Or if I weren't posting my own personal thoughts on the internet for thousands of people to read, I would say, "There is definitely a price. Like… I love my dog and everything, but what if it were a billion dollars? That's a no brainer. I obviously wouldn't do it $200k. But once you start pushing a million…. Shit…. At a certain point you have to do it."
I also might say, "The girl from this NY Post article had a puppy. I don't know how long she's had the puppy exactly, but what if she was just a couple days in? She would hardly even be attached at that point. It'd be like getting paid multiple years salary to look after a dog for a couple of days."
But I'm not saying that because I love dogs, and I would never besmirch dogs on the internet.
Also, speaking of dogs. My dog Dock (who I love unconditionally and would not sell under any circumstance no matter how much money I am offered), has started peeing the bed lately. It's very sad. It's not like he's standing up to pee either. But a few times recently he's woke up in a pool of his own piss. He can't control his bowels. I made a vet appointment on Wednesday, and they think they'll be able to give him some medicine that will help with bladder control. But my question is… if the medicine doesn't work, will I have to put a diaper on my dog? That would be very funny and very sad all at the same time. He still has a ton of energy too, and shows no signs of poor health other than the pissing. He could live for another 5 years. That's 5 years of dog diapers. There's a strong possibility I end up changing dog diapers for the foreseeable future
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. She sells sea shells by the sea shore. Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers. A pack of pickled peppers is what Peter Piper picked.
(Sorry somebody challenged to write a paragraph of nonsense to see if anyone even notices. I like to think some people will. I wonder percentages of people who click into Dumping Them Out actually read every word. You could tell me any number from 1%-50% and I'd believe it. I can't imagine over half of people do. I don't think 50% of people read all the words in any blog or article anywhere on the internet. That's a lot to expect out of people. Especially if they're distracted by Boob GIFs between paragraphs)
I'm watching the end of the Bills/Chiefs game right now. Did you see the Chiefs downfield lateral play that got called back?
I've said this 100 times before, but NFL teams need to embrace the downfield lateral. They work so well. They're open so often. You have teams full of the best athletes in the world. They have to be good enough to execute a simple lateral. I know they're high risk, but if you have the whole team on the same page, and everyone is ready for a lateral, I bet you could get a successful one 2-3 times per game. I mean the Chiefs just pulled it off, and they have got to be the biggest group of idiot receivers in the league. The opportunities are there, someone just needs to have the balls to do it.
Enjoy this compilation of successful football laterals.