Elon Musk's New AI Bot 'Grok' Roasted the Shit Out of Me

I was having such a nice Friday morning. The new toothpaste I bought was delicious. My good pair of socks were freshly washed. The weather was just how I like it. My one dog didn't try to eat the poop out of my other dog's ass on our morning walk. I gave a cigarette to a homeless guy. Just a great morning all around.   

I got to the office early at 9:45 AM. I listened to Jenks hold a speaker phone conference call about how great Frank is. Then I opened up my laptop and got to work (i.e. scrolled Twitter). There's a new tab on Twitter today. It's called Grok. I didn't even realize was it was at first. I hadn't heard anything about Grok. So I clicked the tab and it took me to this screen.

Turns out Grok (which is a horrible name, Elon Musk is ass at naming things) is Twitter's version of AI. I still hadn't even fully realized what it was yet, but I saw the "Roast me Grok" button and thought to myself, "Oh wow, a roast. This will be lighthearted, and fun. I'm sure it won't target very specific insecurities I have about myself."

So I clicked the button.

He missed the mark a bit with the Ohio State roast. Sure, I was cheering for the Buckeyes this year. I made a few tweets. But I'm not getting roasted by Dave. I wish I were. Becoming a punching bag for Dave is one the best career moves you can make at Barstool. That part of the roast was more of a compliment than anything. 

The rest of it… too far Grok. That wasn't funny. There were no jokes made in your roast. Those are just mean and true things about what I bring to Barstool as a person. The worst part is, I don't even know how to respond other than with self-deprecating humor. That's my only move, and Grok already roasted me for it. He knew exactly how I'd respond. He's got me pegged. I'm literally doing the self-deprecating thing right now. Fuck, man.. 

So don't click the roast button guys. It's going to ruin your day. But aside from the personal attack on my career, Grok is a nice feature to have on Twitter. Like an AI bot, it has many uses, and provides tons of information that everybody on the internet can benefit from. 

P.S. I think Grok is turning soft. When I first asked "who the thickest 18 year old on Twitter" was, it gave me a whole list of accounts. Grok put some real thought into it. But I forgot to screenshot it. When I asked again, it turned all PC on me. "wE aLL cOmE iN diFfeRenT sHaPes aNd siZEs" Yeah, no shit Grok, that's why I'm asking who the thickest is. But from what I gather, @ineedroxy takes the crown. You'll have to see for yourself. I don't think I'm allowed to post her work.