Natalie Portman Vows the One Thing She Will Never Do in a Movie is 'Show My Boobs'

Vittorio Zunino Celotto. Getty Images.

It hasn't been the easiest year for Natalie Portman. Her alma mater Harvard under fire right now, but that's the least of her worries right now. We're only a few months removed from seeing her done dirty by no account, two-timing husband, making us all question whether Happily Ever Afters are even possible:

But like the true warrior she is, Natalie has soldiered on. Presumably still making movies (hopefully better ones than Thor: Love and Thunder) and doing the talk show circuit. Where she revealed the disappointing, if not downright soul-crushing bombshell on her admirer's hearts that there are limits to what she's willing to share on screen:

Source - Natalie Portman is revealing where she draws the line when taking on acting roles.

The May December actress participated in a round of "Pop Quiz" on The Drew Barrymore Show, where she responded, "That's a good one" after reading a card that asked what is "one thing you'd never do for a role."

"Um … show my boobs? Is that really prude?" said Portman, 42, to which host Drew Barrymore responded supportively, "No, it's not!"

"I’m just always like, ‘I don’t want my kids to see pictures online,' " continued the Oscar winner.

It's almost 2024 and I get that expressing a desire to see an actress topless is a regressive, misogynistic holdover from a time before the patriarchy was smashed. Or showing your boobs on film is empowering, like when Lena Dunham did it all the time. I don't know. Those goalposts move a lot. Let's agree that body autonomy is something we should all support and no one wants an actress to do semi-nudity if she's not into it. 

Though since it's the Christmas season, I will add that like the great Frank Cross and Charles Dickens, most men would like to see Natalie Portman's nipples:

And while I want to support a mother who doesn't want her kids to see her release the Harvard Two on their screens someday. I have enough Oedipal issues seeing my old photos of my mom when she was young and attractive. There wouldn't be enough therapy available if I ever saw her in some movie in various stages of undress for the whole world to see. 

But in Portman's case, that's sort of an odd spot to draw a line. After all, she wasn't exactly playing a Mennonite in Closer:

And she won her Oscar for Black Swan, which is as notable for her powerful portrayal depicting the harmful effects of the relentless pursuit of perfection as it is for her sex scenes with Mila Kunis. Since since already deep into NSFW territory here, I'll show a mild makeout scene instead of the one everyone rewinds:

And shortly after taking home the Best Actress Academy Award in that one, she starred in Your Highness, which no one remembers for anything other than a GIF:

If the Portman children, like many kids, happen to be triggered by offensive language, it's hard to imagine how they'll react to their mom rapping about wanting to "fuck all night" and "all the kids looking up to me can suck my dick":

But OK. As long as she doesn't go naked to the waist. 

To state it plainly, in case I haven't made it clear, I'm a fan of Natalie Portman and her work. This last clip is my favorite Digital Short of all time. I'm simply making a case for the noble, time honored tradition of gratuitous nudity in movies. Which has become a dying art form. Gen Z has declared they're not interested in it. And soon the humble, sublime institution we once called T&A may become just another relic of a bygone era. So I hope Natalie changes her mind and finds a project worthy of breaking this rule she's imposed on herself. Because we'd all love nothing more than to see her name added to this famous roll call of great actresses who have gone Guns Out on film: