Padme Amidala Is The REAL Villain Of The Star Wars Universe

I know that I've written many an anti- Star Wars blog in the past. I try not to be redundant, but this is not new Star Wars. This is "Revenge of the Sith" Star Wars. This is Chris Castellani sitting in a movie theater, dressed like a Jedi in 2005, watching Star Wars. It's a totally different vibe. But something about the Revenge of the Sith (which I think is a legitimately awesome movie) has always bothered me. It's not only bothered me about that film, but it's kind of a running issue with the entire Star Wars saga. Padme Amidala fucking sucks.

Let me say straight up: Natalie Portman is one of my favorite actresses ever. She was one of my original crushes, and she graduated from Star Wars to become a well-deserved Academy Award winning actress. This is not meant to be any sort of knock on her talent. She's incredible. But no one talks about the fact that there is a laundry list of character defects surrounding this character. 

I understand that women like bad boys, but Padma's undying love for Anakin Skywalker was always bizarre to me, even when I was a kid. In "Attack of the Clones," Anakin Skywalker does absolutely nothing to earn her affection. He's creepy, he's rude, he likes sand. He hits on her in inappropriate moments. I'm still trying to figure out what moment it was that he won her over. Perhaps it was when he brought his dead mother's corpse to the doorstep of his Tatooine home, or maybe it was when he admitted that he committed genocide towards a group of Tuscon Raiders. 

So, despite 1 million red flags, she still ends up marrying the guy. Whatever. Relationships are complicated. If I figured them out, I'd be in one. So we get to episode three. At this point, she's pregnant. I'm going to ignore the fact that she doesn't do a fucking thing throughout this entire movie because that's just bad writing. She confronts Anakin only to realize he's passed the point of no return. Her heart is broken, but upon the realization that she has two young children to raise, she decides to persevere for them so that they can grow up into healthy, well-adjusted adults...or at least that's what someone who wasn't a dog shit mother would decide to do. No, instead of taking care of the two children that she just gave birth to, Padme goes full Eric Cartman and says "Screw you guys, I'm going home" the second that she sees these kids come out of her womb. 

Why am I writing about this today? It's always bothered me. I watched "Revenge of the Sith" in a movie theater as a 9-year-old, and I was still pissed off. As I said, I think "Revenge of the Sith" is a pretty dope movie. I don't think that George Lucas is very good at writing women, and the character of Padme drove that point home. But for a series that has been as analyzed and dissected as Star Wars, no one ever discusses this. Padma stinks.