I Am Officially Asking Mark Cuban To Buy The Orioles After His Partial Sale Of The Mavericks

Mark....please. I am BEGGING YOU. Please buy the Orioles with that new $3.5 Billion check you're going to have laying around. He's still in control of the Mavericks and just got way more rich. Why not try your hand at a sport you've been trying to get into for a while? I present to you, the Baltimore Orioles. He's been attached to the Pirates for a while since he's from there and I think at one point he said MLB wouldn't let him buy them. But that was then and this is now, bring Mark Cuban to Baltimore. Come on Mark, you don't want to touch the Pirates, they aren't set up to win right meow like the O's are. 

Baltimore Sun. Getty Images.

This is the face of a man who would get put in a mental pretzel if Mark Cuban approached him about purchasing the team. I bet Cubes would run circles around John Angelos and somehow would end up getting the O's for cheaper than he thought he could. It's a great new challenge for Mark, no more Shark Tank, more Camden Yards. He's hands on, he knows what it takes to win a ring, he's good at convincing overseas talent to play for his team (sup Ohtani), and ultimately, he's the man. That is a guy I want leading my team, someone who says that they're going to do whatever they can to win it all, and then he does that. Not someone who talks about how bad he wants concerts at Camden Yards. I think Cuban would be GREAT for baseball, he'd be perfect. He'd spend to win, he'd do whatever he could to bring a trophy, how could you not want a guy like that owing your club? He'd probably buy the Birds at 4:15 PM and have Adley, Gunnar, and Grayson signed to extensions by 4:30. God damnit I need it. 

Cuban would get a lease signed, he'd improve the ballpark, he'd bring an All-Star Game to Baltimore, he'd eat a billion crab cakes, he'd get free agents and he'd have a ton of fun doing it. He seems like a guy who loves challenges, come be the final piece the Orioles need to win it all. There is your challenge, Mr. Cuban. He'd tell it like it is to Robbie Manfred, he'd be a mouthpiece for the other owners. It's easy to see why MLB wouldn't want him involved, but I need it. Mark Cuban in a sport with no salary cap? Heavens. 

And I actually think John Angelos would love to sell it to Cuban. The sale would be MASSIVE and Angelos' name would be all over the papers and TV. Exactly what that tiny man wants. His picture would be all over and he wouldn't have to worry about how he could sabotage a franchise anymore. This is obviously a pipe dream partially brought on by 3Chi, but it makes total sense to me. Bring Cubes and that checkbook to Baltimore and let's finally get an owner in here who wants to win while spending the money to do so. See ya soon, Uncle Mark. It's a match made in crab cake heaven.