Bill Belichick And The Patriots Finally Exact Revenge On The Giants For Super Bowls XLII & XLVI By Losing Sucker Bowl I

A wise woman once said "Sometimes when you win, you really lose. And sometimes when you lose, you really win". Rosie Perez uttered those words in "White Men Can't Jump", so you know it's true. Those words never rang louder than they did in MetLife Stadium considering what was at stake.

I've seen Bill Belichick coaching since he was an assistant with the Giants in the 80s, so I like to think I know a thing or two about how his brilliant brain works. For those reasons, I believe the Emperor of the Patriots instated Order 47 (the distance from where Scott Norwood went Wide Right in Super Bowl XXV) and called the Missed Field Goal play on a chip shot in the name of a better draft pick for the Patriots. 

Not that I fault him. If anything, I tip my cap to The Hoodie for going through with taking an L to a QB named Tommy DeVito that will sleep in his childhood bed after beating the Pats and dealing the Giants a serious blow in the 2023 Tankathon despite Bill's affection for them being clear as day in this clip from the Patriots' legendary 2007 season.

How did that season end again? Oh yeah…

Focus On Sport. Getty Images.

Sorry to any sicko Patriots fans reading this blog in hopes of using my tears for lubrication as they watch highlights Caleb Williams and Drake Maye. But I needed a little hit of dopamine because I don't know how many tanks I have left in me. I feel like I've been rooting for the Giants to tank at the end of the season more since Super Bowl XLVI than I have for them to win, not to mention all the times I have rooted for the Knicks to tank over that time. At some point, I know my Old Man Brain is going to start having me say stupid shit that older dads say like "I root for my team to win no matter what because I'm a TRUE fan". I'm still young enough to know how futile that type of shit is. But I recognize my sports fan's brain mortality. 

Speaking of sports mortality, I think we can put a pin in those rumors about BB becoming HC of NYG because no way does Bill Belichick actually allow Tommy DeVito to beat him if he planned on taking over Big Blue next season. The old man may not be throwing 99 on the black. But he isn't drooling at a nursing home either.

Anyway, congrats to the Patriots and their fans for exacting revenge on the Giants for those two glorious nights in February I wouldn't trade for 10 Caleb Williams. May you land another franchise QB that keeps the Barstool Store churning out t-shirts and pageviews that help keep the lights on here. I don't know who that will be, but I do know the entire store is STILL 20% off through Cyber Monday, so load up on your gear now.

As for Giants fans, I have one message to leave you with: We're on to Jayden Daniels.

You said it, 3-PO. That guy rules!