Happy Holidays! Americans Shit Out So Much Thanksgiving Food, New Data Shows Searches For Plumbers Increase By 99% On Friday
[Source] - As families across the country prepare for their annual Thanksgiving feasts, plumbers are bracing for their busiest day of the year, “Brown Friday,” when the holiday can swiftly turn into a “s–tshow” for hosts and guests.
Using search query data, Yelp found a 99% increase in “request a quote” service bookings for plumbers the day after Thanksgiving overall and revealed a list of America’s top 30 most clogged-up plumbing cities on “Brown Friday.”
Top 10 cities with an uptick in plumbing searches on “Brown Friday”
- Portland, OR
- Virginia Beach, VA
- Raleigh, NC
- Indianapolis, IN
- Jacksonville, FL
- Sacramento, CA
- Boston, MA
- New Orleans, LA
- Milwaukee, WI
- Phoenix, AZ
These are the sort of Internet studies I need. I don't need to know about how you shouldn't be stressed to get some sleep or what time exactly you need to go to bed. No. I need to know that Americans shit out so much Thanksgiving food that plumbers are going to be busy on Friday. I also need to know the cities. Look at that list. Kinda shocking there's not more in the Midwest, but I guess those pipes are just used to the copious amounts of cheese and beer.
The tips they gave were hilarious too. Oh, get your pipes checked? Ask people to not flush random shit down the toilet? I'm a dad to two young kids, even they know not to do that. If you gotta tell Uncle Steve not to flush random shit in the toilet you got a bigger problem on your hands. There's not a single person in the world who should be told not to put something in the toilet that isn't poop or pee. Seems like a simple concept here.
I get it though. Thanksgiving is the one holiday where it feels like you're only eating and drinking. You got football on, some college basketball games that are decent. You show up early, maybe treat yourself to a mimosa or Irish coffee before having some beer, maybe a red wine for dinner. Then you go in for leftovers. That's gotta be the killer here. Thanksgiving leftovers are delicious and should be celebrated as such. Making yourself a night time plate filled with a sandwich and hodgepodge array of sides is a go-to move for any person. Your stomach doesn't know better, your body can handle the day of eating and drinking. But that next day? Bubble guts city.
Really need to talk to VinDog about this. Need to know how true it is that searches go up from his time in the plumbing world. No doubt that man has solved some issues the day after Thanksgiving. So just know tomorrow, try to not host Thanksgiving. Make someone else do it, especially if you live in Portland or Raleigh. Pipes aren't tough enough for Thanksgiving poops.