The Saddest NFL Stats Of Week 11 You Didn't Know

Bryan M. Bennett. Getty Images.

Thanksgiving is upon us which means it's time to be grateful for all that we have to take for granted while we swear profusely at our TVs. It's also the time of year when coaches who are slightly less of a joke than Josh McDaniels could get the pink slip any given Monday for the product they put out every given Sunday. These guys know who they are. And they'll do anything to stay out of hot water to keep their job as evidenced in DC and some coaches will even literally take their quarterback out of the game before figuratively taking them out of the game. 

Well let's get to it. Here are you NFL sad stats for Week 11.

Sad Stat #1: The Denver Broncos hold the NFL's longest win streak at four games

This is really 31 sad stats rolled into one as the Denver Broncos were a legit contender for being the absolute worst team in a league full of unusually shitty teams. The Eagles can't even say they have more consecutive wins. And these Broncos haven't just beaten nobodies. Try the Chiefs, Bills, and a very respectable Vikings team last Sunday night. It's almost like the team everyone sort of expected the Broncos to be with Russell Wilson finally started to appear. 

I'm going to go ahead and say it. Everyone can now be forgiven for any past atrocious takes connected with the idea that the Broncos might be good that occured before the 2022 season.

There's still a hill to climb for the Broncos who have a 21% chance of making the playoffs according to the bots, but given the expectations of this core group from just a couple years ago, there's reason to hope they can be the fourth team since 2015 to make the playoffs after starting 1-5 (2015 Chiefs, 2018 Colts, and 2020 Football Team).

Sad Stat #2: DaRon Bland is making all the sad teams look sadder

This graphic is shocking. How on earth are the Steelers not on this? But to add to this insult angle, I pulled just a few names of individual wide receivers with less touchdown catches this season than not so Bland. Chris Olave. Brandin Cooks. DK Metcalf. Jaylen Waddle. George Pickens. Michael Pittman. Puka Nacua. Amari Cooper. Drake London. I think you get the point.

Garrett Wilson. Terry McLaurin. Chris Godwin. Jerry Jeudy. Tee Higgins. Justin Jefferson (cheap shot but still counts). 

Sad Stat #3: It's time Panther's fans prep their "Actually, many QBs who were the #1 overall selection in the draft threw a lot of pick sixes and turned out to be hall of famers" take at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Bryce Young now has three pick-sixes on the season which puts him in line for roughly six total on the year if things play out similarly. This might ACTUALLY be good news. Many #1 overall draft pick quarterbacks have had seasons incorporating team diversity in their touchdown passing. This includes the all-time single-season pick-six leader Jameis Winston (7 in 2019), Peyton Manning (6 in 2001), Carson Palmer (5 in 2010) and Joe Namath (5 in 1967). All of which are top-8 in all time single-season pick sixes. That has to mean something, right?? 

I can almost hear David Tepper making this argument at the dinner table followed by a deafening silence of random relatives trying to decide if they should change the subject or keep the silence going. 

Sad Stat #4: Matt Eberflus is now 0-9 vs division opponents and is indeed the Michael Scott of the NFL

Let's play a game. I'm imagining someone who was really good at their job and got promoted to a mid-level management position in an organization to do a job in which - WHOOPS - turns out they are very bad at. Am I thinking of Michael Scott or Matt Eberflus?

Answer: "yes".

Never a great sign when a coach goes into half-time against a 1-7 team giddily revealing he has "a trick up his sleeve" for the second half comeback. This is a man who knows he's very bad at his job and his only option is to boast his ego and fake his way out of it. I'll just say this. There were rumors of an FBI raid at Hallas Hall earlier this season that ended up not being true. But I'm choosing to believe it was and that the FBI found the Matt Eberflus version of "Threat Level Midnight". The day the script leaks will be a good day. 

Sad Stat #5: Gabe Davis played 67 snaps without a target 

Gabe Davis is fantasy football nightmare sauce. The surefire Troll of the Year who sucks when you play him and goes off when you don't. Not getting a single target on 67 plays in a Josh Allen offense that scores over 30 points is not fair. I hate him so much. I'll probably draft him again next year. 

By the way. What is going on here, Xaviers? That's too many Xavier's on any NFL graph. 

Sad Stat #6: The Chiefs would gladly take Gabe Davis over Marquez Valdez-Scantling

Who's your vote for "drop of the week"?

Quick PSA for anyone hosting a Thanksgiving to either of these two. When they say "pass the rolls" - best to just get up and walk over to hand it to them. And if they ask for butter, let them know there's plenty left on their fingers.

Sad Thanksgiving everyone!

- Jeffro

Got a sad stat tip? DM me @statholesports

Catch up on last Weeks NFL Sad Stats Week 10: