It Sounds Like Apple Is FINALLY Killing Green Bubbles On iPhones

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Tech Crunch- Apple plans to add support for the RCS standard on iOS next year, the iPhone-maker said Thursday in a major reversal that would resolve the widespread issue of compatibility in text messaging between iPhones and Android smartphones, a concern affecting millions worldwide known colloquially as the “green bubble” dread.

Apple’s longstanding unwillingness to support RCS has perpetuated fragmentation in messaging ecosystems, particularly affecting Android users, critics have argued over the years.  Apple’s stance, often seen as maintaining ecosystem exclusivity, stirred debate in the tech community over interoperability and user convenience.

Well, no more. In an abrupt announcement today, Apple said it, too, believes that “RCS Universal Profile will offer a better interoperability experience when compared to SMS or MMS.” The company, which plans to roll out the support next year, added: “This will work alongside iMessage, which will continue to be the best and most secure messaging experience for Apple users.”

Look, I could try to stare you readers in the eye and say I know exactly what RCS is as well as all the technological impact it has had or will have on our lives. But I'd be lying to you. Even the part of this story where it spells out exactly what RCS had me feeling like Homer when basically any critical thinking is involved.

Rich Communication Services, or RCS, is the collective effort of a number of industry players to supercharge the traditional SMS with modern features such as richer texts and end-to-end encryption. Google, Samsung and a number of other firms, including telecom operators, have rolled out support for RCS to over 800 millions users worldwide in recent years.

But based on everything I read on social media that explained this to me like I am my children's age, I believe this means the end of green bubbles, which most importantly means one very important thing: Peace in our time.

Sure it was fun for a while to bust balls about green bubbles being Poors or try-hard nerds while they called blue bubbles conceited, overpaying sheep that slurped Steve Jobs', and later Tim Cook's, balls. But in the Year of our Lord 2023, there is sooooooooooo much more stuff to argue about, likely which has led to a ton of people to stop talking to each other anyway. We even got to the point where Samsung got super dramatic by dropping a classic tale of forbidden love.

Now it's time to heal.

Quick aside: I'm in a fantasy football group text for a league that is 20 years old and we finally had someone branch off to start a WhatsApp chain just to communicate without the stank of green bubbles. Well me along with half the league didn't download it because we don't know what the fuck WhatsApp is or why we should actually use it. 

I'm relatively tech savvy, at least when it comes to Barstool blogger standards, which is admittedly damn near rock bottom. But I always figured you are only downloading WhatsApp if you are going somewhere that doesn't have your cell service, you are doing something reasonably illegal where a digital paper trail could land your ass in the slammer, or you are cheating on your significant other. As a father of two with no interest in doing any of those three things, I find myself well outside the Venn diagram for any of those things (even though I'd love to ditch my kids for a week in Europe with Mrs. Clem, but finding a babysitter for 7 days would be impossible).

Now thanks to Apple finally bending the knee to RCS, I will never have to explain to my wife or the police why WhatsApp is on my phone because I will have no reason to even download it since the thought of missing out on A++++ extremely niche fantasy football jokes about the mamaluke in our league who didn't start an RB last week and lost by 3 had me thinking about at least watching a YouTube to find out what WhatsApp is and how to use it (He's also ironically the person who set up the WhatsApp chat). Plus we'll all know who the green bubbles are regardless of their text color based on what phone they have, which will forever be a status symbol until we start implanting computers in our brains and getting the manufacturer's logo stamped on our forehead.

I also know that the EU threatening to whammy Apple was reportedly a big reason all of this happened.

The European Union, for example, has been working on legislation that would have required Apple to make changes to iMessage to make it available on other platforms. With RCS, iMessage will no longer have as many benefits that are unavailable cross-platform.

However, I refuse to thank Europeans let alone a European Union for anything since that is my right as an American. Instead I will end this blog with some of the best gifs the stars and stripes has to offer regardless of which color bubble you are because that's what this wonderful country is all about.

P.S. If any of this blog is factually inaccurate, blame Reddit and the random tech people on Twitter I read or just remember that Barstool is a satire site, even though I am still not 100% sure what that means.