Barstool Sports' Taylor Swift Reporter, Revealed: Meet Kelly Keegs, the First Full-Time Swiftie Journalist (EXCLUSIVE)

Gannett, the biggest newspaper chain in the U.S., no longer has a blank space under the title of “Taylor Swift reporter.” The company has written in the name of Bryan West, a 35-year-old journalist from Arizona who has just moved to Nashville to fill the newly added, headline-making position. Starting today, West will be working out of the Tennessean’s newsroom for USA Today and the chain’s more than 200 local dailies, reporting on all things Swift… and only on all things Swift.

Okay. I haven't been busting my ass on 50+ Taylor Swift blogs in the last 6 months to be insulted like this. "First official Taylor Swift reporter?" Who the fuck even is this guy? 

For anyone who does think that hiring a Swift beat reporter makes perfect sense, it may not be difficult to see why West was able to convince the company that, out of all the hundreds of applicants, they’d never find another like him… that he’s the only one of him… and that baby that’s the fun of him.

“I would say this position’s no different than being a sports journalist who’s a fan of the home team,” says West. “I just came from Phoenix, and all of the anchors there were wearing Diamondbacks gear; they want the Diamondbacks to win. I’m just a fan of Taylor and I have followed her her whole career, but I also have that journalistic background: going to Northwestern, winning awards, working in newsrooms across the nation. I think that’s the fun of this job is that, yeah, you can talk Easter eggs, but it really is more of the seriousness, like the impact that she has on society and business and music.”

While I agree fully with this reasoning and need for someone to be covering the Taylor Swift beat, I again need to say - what the fuck? As usual, Barstool Sports is on the cutting edge of culture and has enlisted ME, as the official Taylor Swift reporter, the minute I started working here. Did we get a write up with Variety for it? Where's my photoshoot? Where's my long form interview? I'll tell you this, I'd certainly give much better answers than THIS fucking bozo:

Is a Swiftie destined to be a softie, when it comes to news that might cast the star in a harsher light? West addressed the objectivity issue in his video submission for the job, saying he would be able to report fairly on the superstar — and be critical if necessary — with a slightly comical example: He said the proof was in his citation of three Swift songs that he can’t stand: “Stay Stay Stay,” “False God” and “It’s Nice to Have a Friend.” Now that his video resume is being made public, he’s a little worried fans might “cancel” him for throwing those three tracks under the bus. (For the record, his favorite songs are: “All Too Well (10 Minute Version),” “Long Live,” an extended concert version of “I Did Something Bad,” “Death by a Thousand Cuts” and “Wildest Dreams,” for starters.)

I'm calling it right here and now, this guy is a fake. Straight up phony. His favorites look like he googled, "what songs do hardcore Swifties really like," and his dislikes? An abomination. I'm seeing now that this article has been edited, but the internet never forgets:

That tweet is correct - don't hire a man to do a woman's job. Not to get all feminist about it, but seriously, why is a man the Taylor Swift reporter? There are MILLIONS, maybe BILLIONS of girls who would've wanted this job, and could've poured their hearts and souls into it. Instead we have some jabroni who doesn't appreciate False God? It's laughable, insulting and negligent, at best. 

Thank god I work at Barstool Sports where my worth as a Swiftie and a Journalist is valued, and in my moment of vulnerability reading this article about someone else stealing my shine? All I had to do was ask for clarification:

It's settled. I continue to reign supreme as always, and no offense to this man, but he's in over his head. You're going to have to get up a lot earlier to fool the Swifties, dude. We're onto you. 

As for ME, I think my resume speaks for itself. Tune into the latest episode of Taylor Watch to see a couple of TRUE Swifties discuss 1989 (Taylor's Version) and actually know what we're talking about.