2023 Internet Headline: Huge Streamer N3on's Girlfriend Gets Called Out For Cheating But Won't Sleep With Him Because She's "Celibate"

Let me preface this by saying I have no choice but to blog this. I'm an analytics guy/robot/whatever and the very top blog at Barstool SPORTS dot com last week was Boss Man's blog on how fucked up today's Internet/Twitch streaming world is: 

I'd like to think I understand that whole world a little better than him, but there's times I'm even a little bit confused by what's going on. This is one of those examples. Let me try and give you a little background: N3ON is on top of the internet streaming world at the moment and averages 100,000 viewers every time he goes live. The new era of streaming involves these "IRL" streams as they call them, which basically just means you have a cameraman with a backpack and walk around LA or Miami and get into chaotic situations like the one Dave blogged. So yesterday there was a Halloween party where N3ON brought his new girlfriend Sam who just so happens to be an OnlyFans creator and some guy pressed her on their relationship. I don't know how Inspector Glenneth Balls hasn't gotten her on the horn for OnlyStans, but that leads us to this clip.

That was the most concise way I could explain what's going on, but according to my research, the cult like followers of N3ON found out that his girlfriend cheated on him, and the guy in the clip was wondering why she's even with him if she won't sleep with him. Her excuse is that she's celibate now, and can't delete her OnlyFans account until she knows if it's true love or not. I don't care if this is faked or not, give her an Oscar for script writing for the celibacy defense. I'd be remiss to not mention that the girlfriend in question is actually apart of the kid in Dave's blog's OnlyFans agency and it's apparently one big love triangle of streamers. The rumor is that he put her into N3ON's life because he's still a virgin starved for female touch and did it knowing she'd funnel a bunch of OnlyFans traffic to her page by being on the #1 livestream on the Internet and he'd make a zillion more dollars than he already has. 

And again, I don't want to sit here and blog about a bunch of 20 year old streamer drama but I have been left no choice. At some point we have to just accept that this is today's Internet. Big Cat put it best on the Rundown: they don't necessarily fabricate content, they just put themselves in positions for shit like that to happen. Fair enough. I might just have to take on the streamer beat here at Barstool. I'm not below any topic if it means pageviews. Them's the rules. Let's leave with another 2023 internet headline that could easily be another blog but I'll spare you for now:

I don't want to make assumptions about loyalty, so here's your slideshow for you to make your own judgments and I'll be on my way: